Present
The rain had set in following our intense moment in the kitchen, preventing Linc’s return to work on the house the following day. I’m grateful. It gives me the chance to regain control over my emotions. Which are all over the place right now. The way they’ve always been when it comes to him.
As I pour myself a cup of coffee, I hear the crunch of gravel on my driveway. He’d sent a text message last night saying he would be back today, weather permitting, and the early morning sun shining down on his pickup tells me the rain has finally taken leave.
Coffee in hand, I make my way out onto the back porch.
“Mornin’, Syl,” he greets, retrieving his tool belt from the cab of his truck and buckling it around his waist. I try hard not to admire the way the worn leather hangs from his hips, but it’s awfully hard.
I take a tentative sip from my mug. “Where’s your helper?”
He reaches inside his truck and grabs a mesh hat from the dash that hasDawson’swritten across the front, pulling it down low on his brow.
“It’s his day off.” He grins. “Don’t worry, I brought water today.”
Well, that’s a relief.
“But I forgot my lunch.”
Shit.
I spin on my heel and hightail it inside. His chuckle sneaks through the screen before I slam the door.
When I get to the kitchen, Caroline is pouring juice into a cup. “Good morning, sweet girl,” I say, kissing the top of her head. “Sleep good?” She nods and takes her juice to the table. I get the griddle and the pancake mix out as well as a pack of bacon. “So what do you want to do today?” It’s Memorial Day so no school for her and I’m off work. I thought it would be good for us to get out of the house and spend some time together.
I look over my shoulder when she doesn’t answer and find her nose buried in her new book. “Caroline?”
Her brown eyes meet mine. “Ma’am?”
“I asked what you would like to do today.”
“Can’t we just stay here?” she asks softly.
I stop what I’m doing and take a seat at the table next to her. Her bare feet dangle from the chair and her dark hair is a tangled mess as she sits quietly reading her book. She’s so withdrawn. And I fear it’s only getting worse. Not only from me, but also from everyone. She doesn’t even like to leave the house anymore.
“I think we should get out and do something fun today. We could go see a movie,” I say, brushing the hair from her eyes with my hand.
She shakes her head, her tormented eyes meeting mine. “I just want to stay here, Mama, please.”
I give in. Because it’s easier, and right now we both need easy. “Okay. We’ll stay here. Would you like to help me in the garden later then?”
With a nod and a small smile, she returns to her book, and I get up to finish making her breakfast.
A few hours later, my hands and knees are covered in dirt and mud. Caroline and I have spent most of the morning weeding the beds around the back of the house and planting new seeds in our small vegetable garden. Gardening has become somewhat therapeutic for me. There’s something about planting a seed, watering it, nurturing it, and watching it grow into something beautiful or bountiful that fills my heart with a happiness I can’t quite describe. Mama says it stems from my need to take care of everyone around me. I just feel like it’s the only thing I’m good at besides being Caroline’s mother.
And even some days that’s questionable.
Caroline is always inquisitive about what we plant. How much sunlight it will need to grow, how much water it will require to sustain fruitful life. It took me a long time to master my green thumb. But she seems to enjoy it as much as I do and even checks out books at the library about plants and flowers and anything else she can get her hands on. She’s such a smart little girl.
Far smarter than I ever was.
She went inside a few minutes ago to get us both something to drink but she hasn’t returned. My little helper has gone AWOL. I smile, thinking she probably picked up her book, unable to put it down for too long.
Once I have the plants potted and situated, I gather up my garden tools and head for the shed to put them away but stop abruptly when I turn the corner to round the back of the house.
The air in my lungs flees on a gasp as I focus on the sight before me.
Linc and Caroline are sitting on the tailgate of his pickup, her dirt-covered feet swinging back and forth. She has the biggest smile on her face. I clutch the items in my hand closer to my chest as warmth invades my heart and a smile smothers my own face. I take a step back, hiding behind my rose bush so I can savor this moment.
