I couldn’t believe I’d said the words aloud. This might not have been the right moment to say them but I had a feeling he already knew, and it had the desired effect. Reid stopped in place and lowered his head. His entire body tense as he turned around to face me. Though he tried to hide it, I could see the panic in his eyes along with the pain.
“And what do you think your brother would have to say about that?”
I winced at his mention of Bodie. I’ve thought about that, too. What he would think of me falling in love with Reid, but I always come to the same conclusion.
“He would have wanted us to be happy. You were his best friend, Reid.”
“Yeah, some friend I am for fucking his little sister.”
Time seemed to stand still as the pain of his words struck my heart. “I would like to think what we have is more than just fucking.”
Reid’s jaw ticked. “I told you I couldn’t promise you anything.”
A cold tremor rushed through me. The weight of his words slicing deep down in my core. I knew he couldn’t promise me anything. I knew he wasn’t capable of a commitment, not right now anyway, but how could he stand there and pretend what we have means nothing to him.
“You’re going to stand there and pretend none of this meant anything to you.”
“I don’t want to talk about this shit right now. I’m going to take a shower.”
My heart shattered, broke into a thousand tiny pieces by the only man I’d ever truly loved. I faintly heard the water turn on before I stepped outside to get some fresh air.
Hot tears slipped down my cheeks as I walked out onto the landing for some fresh air, tilting my head backward, trying to catch my breath.
Everything he said contradicted his actions. The way he touched me, the way he looked into my eyes said the exact opposite of what he spoke out loud. Pain and confusion swept through me, tearing a sob from my chest.
What was he so afraid of?
I knew I could make him happy if he only gave us a chance.
A shuffling sound pulled me from my thoughts, and I quickly swiped the back of my hand across my cheeks, thinking it was Reid, but when I looked toward the stairs, no one was there.
An uneasiness settled over me as I wrapped my arms around my waist and headed back inside. However, I didn’t even make it to the threshold before two hands reached out and grabbed me. I was only able to scream half of Reid’s name before a hand covered my mouth. Kicking and screaming, I fought as hard as I could, managing to kick over one of the Adirondack chairs nearby before pain radiated through my head, my world engulfed by darkness.
The water pounded down my back, beating against my skin in the same angry manner my heart thrashed inside of my chest. My hand slapped the wall above me, the sting radiating through my palm and down my arm.
I didn’t deserve her.
I never would.
But surrendering to this meant betraying Bodie. And even though he was gone, honoring that trust was still important to me. The truth was, I didn’t know what to do. I was in love with her but I had no idea how to tell her that. Running away like a fucking coward hadn’t been the answer either but here I was, hiding out in the goddamn shower, trying to chase these feelings away. But deep down I knew they weren’t ever going anywhere.
She was it for me.
Always had been.
Always would be.
A loud crashing noise yanked me from my thoughts. I shut off the water and scrubbed the water from my face, pushing my wet hair back.
“Cassidy,” I yelled, reaching for a towel and wrapping it around my waist.
Uneasiness settled over me as I made my way into the living room where I found the front door standing wide open, a gust of air pushing it back into the wall with a sickening thud.
“Cass?” Each step I took toward the open door felt heavier than the last and fear sunk its sharp teeth into my heart when I spotted the chair knocked over on the outside deck.
What the hell?
Blood soared through my veins, adrenaline pumping with ruthless venom. I looked around outside then searched the entire house in a frantic state of denial.
