“Cassidy!” I called out as I bounded up the steps. “Cass, where are you? Talk to me.”
Nothing could have prepared me for what I found on the other side of that door. Air froze in my chest, making my lungs feel like iron.
Blood.
So much fucking blood.
And body parts…everywhere. My eyes darted around the room but once I caught a glimpse of Bodie’s favorite shirt, my worse fear had been realized. I turned away, nausea stirring in my gut. I reached out to steady myself against the wall, trying not to lose my shit.
“Cassidy!”
Please let her be okay.
Please let her be okay.
“Gidge!” My voice came out raw and shaky. I hardly recognized it as my own. Her sobbing finally penetrated the pounding blood rushing through my ears. It sounded like it was coming from the hall closet. Opening the door, I switched on the light and my chest flooded with relief when I found her huddled in the far corner, pale face soaked with tears.
I held my arms open, tears stinging my eyes at her distraught state. “Come here.” Without hesitation, she scrambled from her place on the floor and crawled into my lap, clinging to me, body trembling with fear. “Shh…it’s okay. You’re okay.”
“B—B—Bodie.” She was in shock; I squeezed my eyes shut, praying she hadn’t looked outside of this closet. That she hadn’t seen what I’d just seen.
I pressed my lips to her forehead, holding her close while I stroked her back. “Is he—is he dead?”
All I could do was nod my head against hers, the words lodged in my throat like a rusty knife.
The sounds that came from her destroyed me, rocked me to my fucking core. It was a sound that would haunt my dreams for the rest of my life.
I sat up in bed, my entire body soaked with sweat. Blinking several times, I tried to erase the images that continued to flash through my mind, the remnants of my dream still vivid and real.
Seeing Krull yesterday brought back a lot of old memories, and the guilt that accompanied them was nearly unbearable. Krull’s final words had left me confused and with an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I couldn’t put my finger on what it was, but it was driving me fucking crazy.
Then there was Cassidy.
After I picked her up from Mike’s, she’d sensed my frustration, and once again, she’d been exactly what I’d needed. There were no questions, only understanding, and it terrified me to know she had that much control over me. That she could quiet the storm that raged inside of me. With nothing more than my lips upon hers, she made me feel so damn much.
She shifted next to me, placing a hand on my damp shoulder. “Baby, are you okay?”
I didn’t answer.
There was no way I could talk to her about this. Hell, she was still struggling with it herself, and every day we spent together was another reminder of what we’d both lost.
Pushing from the bed, I walked into the bathroom and closed the door, flipping on the water before pushing down my sweat pants. Once the water was warm, I stepped under the hot spray and closed my eyes; doing everything I could to wash the memories away. I was lost in my head, swimming in a sea of pain and regret, when I felt her hand softly touch my back.
I slowly turned around, her small hands reaching up to cradle my face. “Baby, please. Talk to me.”
Her eyes pleaded with mine, begging for an explanation, but my need for her to take it all away overpowered everything else. I captured her mouth, lifting her up so she could wrap her legs around me, then I turned and pressed her against the wall.
Dropping my forehead to hers, I centered myself, bringing her down hard on my ready cock.
Her grateful gasp feathered my lips.
And just like that, the storm calmed inside of me. The waves settling more and more each time I slid in and out of her tight, wet heat. She clung to me, her gaze locked with mine, and I saw everything I wish I could give her staring right back at me.
Trust.
Love.
It was killing me inside, along with everything else. She’d given herself to me completely and I’d selfishly let her, even when I promised myself I wouldn’t. But just as the ocean always come back to kiss the shore, no matter how many times it’s pulled away, I could never resist her.
