Patrick pops his earbud back in and returns to the paper he’s writing, bopping along to whatever music he has playing.
Must be nice not to have completely humiliated yourself in front of the guy you thought was going to be your first boyfriend.
I groan again. Patrick turns and raises a questioning eyebrow. I shake my head. He shrugs and turns back to his laptop.
So now what?
I guess a more mature person might text Dash instead of lying in his bed staring at the ceiling. And say what though? Probably something stupid and embarrassing, and it would just be more humiliation. Oh yeah, and I never actually asked for his number, so I can't anyway.
I start to groan again, then stop myself before I accidentally catch Patrick’s attention again.
Okay, enough of this. Maybe I can distract myself. At least I can try.
I grab the well-worn copy of one of my favorite books, which I've been rereading lately. I settle back and pick up where I left off.
I love this story so much. These guys have real stakes. They aren't just worried about saying the wrong thing or embarrassing themselves. They're worried about their big, huge NHL careers. Everything they've worked for their whole lives. They go through so much to be together.
But…
But also, it takes them forever.
And mostly? They're justscared. I mean, they have good reason to be, but still. Scared.
And iftheyhad a time machine—and also if they were real—I bet maybe they'd go back and get together sooner.
I squeeze my eyes shut. Shit.
These damn books that mean so much to me. I think I missed part of the message here: be brave enough to go after what you want.
CHAPTER 12
CALEB
“Sorry,I don’t know where he went. He was out of here super early this morning,” Gavin West tells me. His apologetic tone and look make me think he knows more about the situation than he’s letting on. If I thought the hockey team clocking that I was fanboying over practice would be embarrassing, that’s nothing compared to the idea of a star player knowing all about how I screwed up my first real kiss.
“Okay, thanks.”
I turn to walk out of the dorm. I don't know where I'm going next because this was my one brilliant idea to find Dash. It's not that hard to ask around and find out where the captain of the hockey team lives. I guess I could go lurk around the theater department and see if I run into Dash. Because that's not pathetic. Or I could be smart and take this as a sign this wasn't meant to be.
“Hey! Caleb, right?”
I cringe. Oh God, Gavin West knows my name. Fantastic!
I turn back. “Yeah?”
“Wait up, I'll walk with you. I'm heading out too.”
I almost want to laugh. Caleb of just a week ago would have been tripping all over himself with excitement over this. Not so much current Caleb. “Cool.”
West locks up the door. He shoulders his hockey bag and falls into step with me.
“Heading to practice?” It’s not the usual time. Plus, did they repair the rink?
He grimaces. “Uh, kinda? We're using the Holy Heart rink this week.”
“Oh, right.”
“Yeah, so I'm just trying to go in and get some ice time to myself before their practice.”
