This man is fracturing into thousands of tiny pieces right before my eyes, and I’m terrified I won’t have what it takes to put him back together again. I’ve never second-guessed the words coming out of my mouth more than the ones I’m about to say.
“Everett?”
I need him to hear this. I don’t want him to miss anything, so I push him upright. I slide my hands on either side of his face to get him to look at me. I dry his cheeks with the back of my hand, and I wait for him to do that thing he does.
When his eyes pinch at the corners and he studies my mouth, I begin.
“You’re enough. You’vealwaysbeen enough. For your family, for your fans, for Quinn, forme.”
I didn’t intend to include myself in that list, but I can’t help it when it’s true.
“Quinn is lucky,” I continue. “So, so lucky to have you as her dad.”
He tries to remove my hands and look away, but I grip on tighter. “She asked for you! Tonight, at bedtime, she asked foryou. When I tucked her in she said ‘Daddy home soon’ and I told her you were out here writing songs for her but that you’d be in to kiss her good night.”
Just when I think there can’t possibly be anything left, new tears fall down his face.
“So, it’s not just her mom she needs, Everett, she needsyou. She doesn’t care if she got your eye color or your hair texture or even your APD. She isn’t going to blame you.”
I let him turn away this time when he tries. “You don’t know that.”
I fold my hands in my lap. “You’re right; I don’t. But I don’t blame my parents for the challenges I’ve had to face in my life. Even the ones they could have prevented or the ones they claim are their fault. She’s going to see that you tried to help her. That you took her to speech therapy and taught her everything you know to help her cope. You can give her something no one else can… understanding. You’re the only one in her life who knows what it feels like, and she’ll have you to lean on when she needs someone. She’ll be grateful she doesn’t have to do this alone like you did. You don’t have to be afraid anymore. You can be yourself, Everett, and the people who love you will stay. The ones who don’t were never meant for you.”
I can’t even look at his face to see if he believes me. If what I said made him feel any better. Because now I’m emotional. That feels like all I can give him for one night. I could pour a million other things from my heart, but they might all be toohonest, too vulnerable. More than he can handle right now. Stopping while I’m ahead is for the best.
I stand, grab the baby monitor, and head for the door. I don’t make it through the opening before he speaks again.
“Why didn’t you go on the date?”
The frustration in his tone is back. The walls are up again.
When I turn, I find him standing too. His arms are folded across his chest in a dare, and I don’t know what to do. My feelings for him would be another weight on his plate he doesn’t need to bear right now.
He takes a step closer. “Answer me.”
This time there’s a fire in his eyes that frustrates me. Why does hecare? Is he looking for a fight?
“Youcalledme,” I remind him.
He takes another step closer. “Summer.”
Because I wanted to be here, okay? Because I’d rather be here with you than anywhere else.
That’s what I should have said.
“You know why.”
He shakes his head. “No. I don’t. You’re single. You can do whatever you want.” He growls. “And you lookfuckingincredible in that dress. You deserve to beseenin it.”
Suddenly the air is vacuum sealed out of this room. It’s hotter. Sweltering. My legs are Jell-O, the door I’m slumped against the only thing holding me upright.
“I am being seen in it,” I whisper.
His eyes do a long, appreciative drag across my whole body, lingering in all the places I want him to. All the places that this dress was meant to accentuate for Joe but were always for Everett.
He eats up the rest of the space between us, rasping, “You’re about to be seenoutof it.”
From the look in his eyes, I’m expecting his kiss before hismouth is even on me. What I’m not expecting is the searing heat of his palm against the small of my back jerking me flush to him. I’m not expecting the impatient way my nails score his chest through his shirt either. My resolve is slipping with his mouth touching my skin.
