It’s funny hearing him call me that when he’s one of the few people who ever use my first name. Someone who knows more about Everett than Rhett.
I rub a thumb against my jaw. He opened up to me; I owe him one.
“There is no latest hit.”
He studies me, waiting for an explanation.
“I’ve spent all morning in here. All of this pent-up stress, it’s blocking me creatively, and I don’t know how to get rid of it.”
He lifts an eyebrow. “Sounds to me like you need to get laid, man.”
I roll my eyes. “You sound like my manager.”
It’s definitely something Todd would say, but not Will. I haven’t spent much time around him since I moved to Nashville, but I know he wasn’t with anyone when I left. I think he should take some of his own advice.
“Well, I just wanted to stop by and make sure you liked the space, but I should get going. Delilah got the Halloween boxes down today, and she’s hell-bent on going through them before I leave tomorrow.”
I squint at him. “It’s April.”
“It’s Harrison Boulevard. I know you’ve lived in Tennessee for a couple years now, but you couldn’t have forgottenthatmuch about this place.”
Live bands, packed streets, king-sized candy bars, and an endless night of noise all come to mind. People plan and prepare early. A couple of years isn’t long enough to forget what thisplace is like on Halloween night, or any other day of the year for that matter.
“Nope. Haven’t forgotten.”
Will makes his way to the door before looking over his shoulder.
“This was nice,” he says. “Why didn’t we ever do this growing up?”
Because I wasn’t ever honest with you. His question is loaded with a million hidden moments that make up the latter part of my youth. He was there. We did everything together. We’d raft the Boise River. Ride mountain bikes in the foothills. Mess around with my guitar in this very loft. But we never shared our problems, and something tells me he’s kept a few secrets of his own over the years.
But I want it to be different now. Hell, I wanted it to be different back then.Differenthas always been my problem, and I never planned on dragging him down with me. Will had a hard enough time being the nice guy who finishes last. I didn’t need to add to that.
“You’ve always been my closest friend.” I hope that’s enough to convey that I’ve given more of myself to him than anyone else without having to admit that, even now, I still can’t fully be myself around him. “Thanks again for doing all of this.”
“Glad I could help.” He opens the door. “I got a couple of small jobs out in Emmett the next few weeks. I was wondering if you could check on Delilah while I’m gone.”
“Of course.”
“Thanks, man. See ya.”
He disappears down the stairs while I try to pinpoint the emotion buried behind his tone. Frustration? Sadness?
I never got the impression that Will wanted to stick around Harrison Boulevard any more than I did. But he’s also the most loyal person I’ve ever known. He would lend a hand to anyonewho needed it. If Delilah wanted to donate her things or go through her Halloween decor months early, it’s not in his nature to withhold help.
I pick up the guitar leaning against the corner of the room and find a seat on the sofa. The gravity of a blank page pulls me under as I close my eyes and hope for my first melody.
8
SUMMER
“What is it?” Julia asks as I stare at the open Idaho Central app on my phone.
Seventeen hundred dollars I don’t want.
“It’s my first alimony payment,” I tell her.
You’ll get thirty percent of his salary for the next three years, my attorney explained after our uncontested divorce was finalized last week. It feels like an allowance from my ex, and I want nothing to do with it. But I don’t really have a choice at this point. I still don’t have a job, and after the apartments I looked into yesterday, seventeen hundred dollars is barely enough to cover rent for a studio in this city.
