“With that.” She points to a yellow bowl being carried bythe teeth of my resourceful toddler. Quinn’s scooting a stool with both hands across the hardwood floor at the same time. We jump apart before she can ram it into one of our ankles, and then she climbs on top of it and dumps her contribution on the counter. “Hew ya doe.”
“Never a dull moment around here,” I say.
Neither is ten seconds later when Quinn knocks over the bag of mix, coating her hair. Flour-like powder wafts through the air and settles against her scalp like dandruff.
“I can’t take you anywhere.”
“Sowee.”
“Here.” Summer releases the clasp on her barrette, sending long golden waves tumbling down her back. She gathers Quinn’s curls in a fist, twists them up, and fastens them in her sparkly clip. “There. All better.”
“I see?” Quinn feels for the barrette.
I pull out my phone and capture a picture of her new updo.
A gasp flees her mouth when I show her the screen.
“I want you to have it,” Summer says and a sudden grunt punches from her lungs as Quinn launches at her waist.
“I think she loves it,” Summer whispers to me.
“I think she lovesyou,” I whisper back, fighting the urge not to say those same words for myself.
Somewhere in the last week I’ve been teetering on a ledge I never thought I’d get close to again. Wondering if I let myself fall, whether I’d fly or die. I don’t get to wonder right now when I startle from her gasp. The intimacy of the moment snaps as the music jumps five notches with her command. The chorus of “Pink Pony Club” by Chappell Roan belts from the speaker, and Summer drags Quinn by the hand to the middle of the room.
I lean against the counter, taking in the entertaining view ofshaking hips as Quinn flips around and shows off something closely resembling a twerk.
“Did she learn that from you?” Summer tips her head back with her laugh, and I snap another picture. I want to remember this moment when I’m missing home on tour.
“How do I know she hasn’t learned that fromyou? You’re the one spending the most time with her.”
“Maybe she has.” Summer toes me in the shin and feeds me a smile. Then she’s grabbing me by my bolo tie and pulling me into the middle of the kitchen with them. “Now, come dance with us.”
It’s close to eight o’clock by the time I get Quinn to bed. After pancakes for dinner, a dance party, and a bath, reading books was no longer part of our date. She let out a happy little sigh right before passing out on my shoulder as I carried her upstairs. There was a time not long ago when I hoped for a moment like that. A connection with her like her mom had. Now that I do, I can’t imagine leaving her.
“You look incredible tonight,” I whisper as I sit beside Summer lounging next to the fireplace and press a kiss to her bare shoulder.
Her fingers slip down the corded leather around my neck and clutch the metal clasp. “You look pretty good yourself.”
“Good enough for a first date kiss?”
“I think I can make an exception.” She tugs me closer and presses her lips to mine. The hesitancy that once lingered between us is gone now, replaced with urgency whenever we’re alone. A promise to sink into each other’s touch. A sign that I need to pull back if I still want to get this off my chest.
I tip my forehead against hers. “Wait, I need to talk to you about Quinn.”
When I pull back, she’s cataloguing my body language. Trying to guess what I’m about to say even before I do.
“I’m scared to leave her. She’s been through so much change in the last nine months. I don’t want to upend her routine. I don’t want her to feel alone.”
“Quinn’s strong. She’ll be okay. And she won’t be alone. She’ll have Caroline, right?”
“I want her to haveyou. To wake up to you like she’s used to. Will you stay with her while I’m gone? At least until Sunday after Caroline’s bunco?”
I can tell by the look on her face she imagined tomorrow to be her last day with us. She didn’t expect this. Maybe she didn’t want it either when the first word out of her mouth isn’t yes.
“I don’t know if I’m the best choi?—”
“I trust you,” I cut her off. If this is about what she said at the school earlier, I’m not worried about her failing to show up. She may have walked away from obligations in her past, but she hasn’t once done that with us. Summer stays for the people she cares about. She’ll stay for Quinn because she loves her. I saw it in her eyes when she gave away her barrette tonight.
