“What did you put in that thing, pennies?” he asks a couple minutes later.
I chuckle. “It’s saline solution. Some patients complain it tastes like metal. It should go away quickly.”
“Yep. It’s gone.” He smiles again.
Even delirious, Reed is happy and handsome and all of the things I should not be focusing on right now.
“See, there you go!” I say, before realizing I’mstrokinghis shoulder too and jerk my hand back.
OKAY.I officially need to leave his bedside.
“Get some rest. I’ll be”—I look around for somewhere else in the room to sit other than perched over his body and decide to simply stand a few feet away—“here if you need me.”
I forget about dinner and my phone call to Aunt Karen. I stay with him. Monitor how he’s handling the fluids and electrolytes as he slowly slips to sleep. It’s not until he’s twitching that I admit, “I think I might like being around you too.”
There are so many reasons why I shouldn’t say that. The biggest of them all steps in the doorway.
“How’s he doing?” Jack asks. As his usual distant self, his hands are wedged in his pockets. He looks more weathered every time I see him. Dark circles under his eyes, hard lines around his mouth.
“He’ll sleep it off,” I say.
My dad nods. “You’re good at this.”
We’ve never been great at talking or connecting. Finding common ground on much of anything. I think this is him trying to offerme a compliment?
“Thanks,” I reply.
And I wait for him to say something else. Anything else. He could fill our silence with the most mundane thing, and I’d still listen. I want him to get to know me. Find out what the two of us have in common… more than just the same address. It’s been years since we spent the kind of one-on-one time together that allows two people the chance to open up. Of course, I’m always wishing he’d tell me more about my mother. A dream I doubt will never come true at this point.
I’ve talked to Aunt Karen about her before. It was one of the first times after my dad left for a whole summer. I was eight and she had taken me to a Payless Shoes for new light-up sneakers. Just her undivided attention had me tearing down all of my walls.
She told me how little she knew of my mother. When my parents met, the two were so wrapped up in each other they rarely made time for anyone else. They eloped at a courthouse and had me a couple years later. I remember feeling disappointed I didn’t have anyone to ask about her. I wanted someone to tell me about the way she smelled or if I resembled her in any way… Some connection to make her feel real to me.
Instead, I got the ghost of her my dad always carries around. I lived in fear that the mere subject would smother him.
“Are you getting any sleep?” I study the pigmented crescents that frame his eyes.
“Don’t worry about me. Sleeping on the ground is part of the job. I’ve been doing it for…”
Years, I know, my brain fills in for him.
I set the ice block to the side of Reed’s face. Blotches of pink have returned to his cheeks. His body temperature has cooled down, so I don’t think he’ll need it much longer anyway. Stowed beneath the table beside me is my personal bag. I approach theside pocket filled with Ziploc bags and pull out the one labeledMelatonin.
“Try these,” I say. “They’re all natural.”
I might need a nightly dose of them myself while I’m here, come to think of it.
“Thanks.” He takes them from my outstretched hand. “For all of this. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Between his earlier compliment and this gesture now, I feel my heart swell in my chest.
Maybe he really does believe in me. Maybe the initial shock has worn off, and he’s proud of this accomplishment. Even if I only chose to do it at first because I knew it would remind him of my mom.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
HAILEY
14 years old
