She shrugged. “Alfred had his own life,” she said. “I was not part of it. Truthfully, he never should have married. He simply wasn’t the type of man who cherished home and hearth.”
“What did he cherish?”
“His friend.”
“What friend?”
From her expression, it was clear that she hadn’t meant for the conversation to go in that direction. “It does not matter,” she said. “Forgive me. I did not mean to ramble about a man who is dead and buried. Alfred de Barenton wasn’t a bad man. He was simply in a bad situation, in a marriage he did not want. You asked me if I want to marry, and the truth is that I want what every woman wants from a marriage—a kind husband. Mayhap affection. Safety and security. But that is not what I got the first time, and I am wary to do it again. No offense intended, my lord, but we do not know one another. We are being forced into this union, so mayhap we should discuss our expectations from the onset so there will be no mistake.”
Essien thought about that for a moment. “I believe that is fair,” he said. “But I could not tell you what my expectations are at this moment. I’ve never had to think about it at all, so I will need some time to consider the question. This is quite new to me.”
She nodded, understanding the magnitude of her request. But in her case, she didn’t need time.
She already knew.
“My expectations are quite simple, I hope,” she said. “All I will ever ask of you is honesty and kindness. For my part, I can promise you loyalty and honesty. I know what it means to be a wife. I will not shame you, no matter… well, no matter how you decide to conduct your life. Your life and choices are your own. I will accept them. I will tend our children, if any, with dignity and support your household. You will never have to worry about me.”
He thought that was a strange thing to say. “Something tells me that you have been in that situation before.”
“What situation?”
“Where your husband’s choices were not to your liking?”
Catalina shook her head. “It does not matter,” she said. “I do not mean to be mysterious, but my marriage to Alfred has nothing to do with our betrothal. Any choices he made are irrelevant. I am simply saying that I will do as you wish when it comes to our marriage. You’ll have no argument from me, whatever decisions you make. Whatever they are, I will remain loyal to you, as my husband.”
Essien’s gaze lingered on her. There was so much more that she wasn’t saying when she made a statement like that. He wanted to ask her, to dig deeper, but it didn’t seem like the right time. Maybe someday, when they came to know one another better, but not now. Not today.
Today, the realization of a betrothal was enough to deal with.
“Thank you for telling me,” he said. “I appreciate your candor.”
“I will always be honest with you, my lord.”
He held up a finger. “We’ll start with that,” he said. “You need not address me formally. My name is Essien. Please use it.”
She shook her head. “Though I appreciate the honor, I cannot,” she said. “Not until I know you better. It would seem rude and informal to me not to address you properly.”
He gave her a half-grin. “As you wish,” he said. “Would you prefer I address you formally, also?”
“Would you be offended?”
“Of course not,” he said. “I will do what you are comfortable with.”
“Thank you,” she said sincerely. Then she spoke hesitantly. “I do not mean to cause trouble. It is simply that we do not know one another, and it would seem incredibly ill-mannered to address you by your name at this time.”
“My lady, you need not explain yourself,” he said. “You are correct—we are strangers. But we are strangers who are going to come to know one another very well. Very well, indeed. I am looking forward to it.”
That statement seemed to surprise her. “You are?” she said. “Why?”
He laughed softly. “Because I should like to know my wife very well,” he said. Then his smile faded. “You should know that my parents loved one another. They were devoted to one another. One of the last memories I have of them is of the pain and horror of their separation. My brother also loves his wife. They have a strong, enduring relationship. You asked me what I expect from this marriage? Mayhap I expect that we will be fond of one another. Mayhap more, with time. You see, I am surrounded by men who love their wives. I see what it has done for them. Mayhap I want the same.”
His answer gave her a great deal of pause. After a moment, she simply shook her head. “And I have been surrounded by the opposite,” she said quietly. “My own marriage was an existence, nothing more. I would not even know how to go about expecting more, because if you do not expect such things, you cannot be disappointed.”
Essien thought that was a rather sad answer. He’d opened his mouth to reply when he suddenly caught movement out of thecorner of his eye. It was somewhat dim where they were sitting, so all he could see was a figure coming toward them in the dark. The first thing he did was put himself between the lady and the approaching figure.
Lance le Kerque came into view.
“What is the meaning of this?” he demanded, then quickly looked to Catalina. “My lady, are you well? Is he harassing you?”
