Addax frowned at him. “Appalling,” he said, turning back to the equipment. “You needn’t remind me of the fact that you taketournament followers into your bed. I told you that is a very bad idea.”
Essien was still grinning as he plopped down onto the nearest stool. “Mayhap to you, but not to me,” he said. “I do not have a wife to go home to like you do. A man must take comfort when the opportunity strikes.”
Addax pulled forth one of their spare lances. It was long and heavy, and he ended up inspecting the tip of it closely. “You need to find a wife,” he said. “You are too old not to think about your legacy, Es.”
Essien rolled his eyes. “That talk again,” he said. “Just because you are married and have children, now that’s all you talk about.”
“Because I see how important it is,” Addax said, perhaps a little forcefully. But he toned it down as he continued. “We owe our father that much. He sacrificed his life to ensure our survival, so the least you can do is breed sons to continue the family name. That is the greatest honor you can give our father.”
The smile faded from Essien’s face as he thought of those who had come before him, faceless men with names he still remembered, only the recollection of Kitara was like a dream. He hardly remembered it at all and, in fact, he completely identified as being English because he’d been part of the English culture far longer than he was ever part of Kitara. He’d been so young when everything fell apart.
Now, Kitara was just a memory.
“I am more English than I was ever Kitaran,” he said quietly. “I do not remember the land of our birth other than whispers of memories. Feelings, mostly.”
Addax knew that. It was something Essien sometimes wrestled with. Addax remembered a good deal more because he was older, but to Essien, Kitara was just something they spoke of. Like a distant relative he was familiar with but had neverreally met. People he knew in name only but had no emotional connection with.
“I know,” Addax said. “But the fact remains that youarea prince. You are one of only two surviving princes of Kitara. It is time for you to find a wife and fulfill your destiny.”
Essien closed his eyes for a moment, trying to remember things from the land of his birth. He remembered a big building with sand-colored stone and a pond with fish and flowers in it. Truthfully, he didn’t mind his brother reminding him of where he came from. He needed reminding because it didn’t come naturally for him like it did for Addax. He was the prince of one land, the resident of another.
“What do you suppose our lives would have been like had we remained at Lankara?” he said. “You would not have met Emmeline. Have you ever thought of that?”
Addax nodded. “Certainly,” he said. “I would have married a princess from another land and we would have had a strong political union, much like our parents had. Hopefully I would have loved her.”
“But that is not certain.”
“Nay,” Addax said with regret. “It is not certain. Emmy is my moon and my stars. She is all things to me. I cannot imagine my life without her, but on the other hand, had we remained in Kitara, I would not know what I was missing, if that makes sense. I could not mourn what I never knew.”
“If you had to make a choice between Kitara and your wife?”
Addax waved him off. “That is unfair,” he said. “Of course I would have wished for our parents to be alive, our country to still be ours. I regret that deeply. But I do not regret what I have now in life. It is not a substitute for what I lost. It is a life I have made for myself and I am proud of it. I am the Earl of Deira, Es. I am an important man in a country I was not even born in. De Lohr and his fellow warlords and even the king embraced me and gaveme great opportunities. They have done the same for you, too. I will always be extremely grateful for that.”
“As am I,” Essien insisted softly. “I did not mean to make it sound otherwise. I was simply thinking aloud. I suppose I was thinking that we are all that is left of the House of al-Kort. We will marry Englishwomen and have sons, who will also marry Englishwomen and have sons. Soon, our bloodlines will be so diluted that any trace of Kitara will be in name only. Even the name may change in the years to come. Is that truly honoring our ancestors?”
Addax gave him an impatient expression. “And what is your solution?” he said. “Never to marry? Our father did not help us escape to a better life only to have you become a childless monk.”
Essien knew that. And the truth was that he wasn’t opposed to marrying an Englishwoman and having sons. But what he’d said about diluting their bloodlines was right.
Someday, the royal line of Kitara would cease to exist.
It wasn’t something he liked to think about.
“Well,” he said, rising from the stool, “I have no intention of becoming a monk, in any case. And tell your wife to stop trying to force her friends and ladies upon me.”
Addax fought off a grin. “Emmeline thinks you need some encouragement,” he said. “Her friends are quite lovely.”
“I will pick my own woman, thank you very much.”
Addax put the lance he’d been inspecting aside. “Then hurry and do it,” he said. “Es, you are too old to be so directionless. Find a woman who puts you on the right path to happiness and I promise you will not regret it.”
Essien curled his lip at his brother. “Spoken like a married man.”
“Spoken like ahappyman.”
Essien didn’t have a retort for that, but he was growing weary of the conversation. He didn’t like it when his brotherhammered him over the fact that he wasn’t married. It had been happening with more frequency since Addax married a couple of years ago.
“Very well, happy man,” he said, rather mockingly. “I am going to see to my horse and then mayhap take a lie-down. De Norville’s exploding lance has given me an aching head.”
