Chai03: Please, I need to know you’re okay.
Please,was her most common plea. The more time passed, the fewer messages she sent. But they still came in. The messages were no longer angry—she’d apologized about those. Instead, they were sad and my heart ached for a relationship I couldn’t remember. It wasn’t just an ache; it was longing. For what we had, what we were becoming, and everything between.
A wiser person would have started with an explanation and ended with an offer to meet up. But I was in no state for first impressions. Not only because I didn’t know who I was, but my injuries left me looking and feeling like a mess. I needed to get my stitches removed from my chin, at least. Wait until some of my swelling went down, too.
Instead of explaining, I apologized. It took me an hour to come up with something I thought was worth sending.
MidQuest: Hi, Chai. I’m okay. I’ve only now read all your messages. Thank you for checking in on me. I’m sorry for how I left things. That wasn’t part of the plan at all…I know it might take a while for you to trust me again, but I’m willing to do what it takes to earn it back. I’m going to do what I can to make this up to you and hope you can forgive me.
I pressed send and held my breath. This person, whoever they were, meant a lot to me. Reading their messages was the first time something felt right after waking up. I didn’t want to lose them. Sure, I didn’t know Chai, but somehow, the possibility of ending this relationship made my stomach twist in discomfort.
It took a few minutes—which felt like eons—before I got a response.
Chai03: I nearly choked on my relief! You’re back? And responding? You’re an asshole for going dark, but I love you, so I forgive you.
My heart pounded at the phrase ‘I love you.’ I’m sure it held little weight to Chai. After all, they were messaging a user named MidQuest—who was only me by a technicality. They probably did love me, whoever I’d been. I wasn’t him—that person—anymore. Those words weren’t for me. Still, I felt sadder about that than when I couldn’t remember what house I’d grown up in.
Chai03: Don’t you dare think this means you’re off the hook!
I smiled at the angry GIF they sent. Chai quickly remedied it with a sweet, heart beating one to make sure I didn’t take her anger too seriously. This exchange felt familiar. It felt good. I would do whatever it took to hold on to it.
Chapter Three
Naomi
Ismelledlikesomeonethrew up on me because…well, they had. In a secondhand sort of way. Celeste frowned when I explained how someone could throw up on a person secondhand. As I spoke, I wrung out my uniform shirt over an industrial sink. We’d found a quiet janitor’s closet on the hockey arena’s storage floor so I could wash up and recount my horrible night to her in obsessive detail.
“You need to quit.” Celeste hugged a bag of fresh clothes for me to her chest. She sat on a lopsided metal chair, trying to balance her weight so it wouldn’t topple over. “This place is toxic.”
“It’s a seasonal gig,” I reminded her, and myself, for the millionth time. “One more week and the wonderful paychecks stop rolling in.”
My current bank balance was laughable. Even the bank thought so because they’d charged me for not having enough. So hilarious.
“This will be the third time this week something’s gone wrong,” she noted.
I looked up from my washing in time to catch the worry on her perfectly plucked brow. As per usual, she’d come in her armor: a face full of makeup. She’d braided her kinky hair into a crown, with no wayward strands in sight.
“Sorry for bothering you this time.” Guilt washed over me as I remembered her anxiety in public spaces. “I can usually thug it out, but the smell was getting to me, and there were only old scrunchies in the lost and found. My boobs are small, but not that small.”
“No, it’s fine. I don’t mind helping. I needed to get out of the house.”
Celeste would gladly stay locked in her room until the sun burned out. I often fantasized about being right next to her. I wanted our heaven to be her cozy room packed with every gaming console known to man.
“Check my phone real quick?” I used a baby wipe to clean my arms for the fourth time.
“Waiting for a message from MidQuest again?” Celeste gave me a disapproving look, but still retrieved my phone from my bag.
I shrugged, watching her through the mirror. “Not particularly…I just have a stream tonight and want to know which mods are showing up.”
Lies. I only wanted to know about one mod.
“Sure, sure.” Celeste chewed on her lip to hide a smile as she typed in my password. I wanted so much to throw a look in her direction, but couldn’t hold back my smile, either.
“So?” I asked when the anticipation got too overwhelming.
Celeste cleared her throat before reading in a voice deeper than her own. “I fixed your panels. Look when you get a chance. Also, don’t rush too much tonight. Everyone will understand if you're running a little late. You need to prioritize yourself.”
I rolled my eyes and laughed. “He doesn’t sound like that.”
