He was right. Now that Kai had rejoined, our friends were debating the merits of nine holes versus eighteen. The poor teen at the counter looked back and forth, trying to interject with advice every now and then.
“By the way,” Dakota started, voice a little more serious now. I finally turned to him, craning my neck to meet his gaze. “If someone did hear… If they knew we were together. Kind of. Is that something you’re opposed to?”
I shook my head. “No. But I would like for us to be just us for a little while longer. So, we can figure out if this is… you know?”
“Long-lasting?” he finished.
“Exactly.” My hand tightened on the neck of my bottle. “Will that be a problem?”
When he hesitated to answer, I gulped down the last of my drink. He took the empty bottle and tossed it in the trash.
“It’s fine with me,” he confirmed once he was back in front of me. “I told you before, and I meant it. I’m in. Whatever that looks like to you, I’ll make sure to make it happen.”
Damn. There he went again, saying the right thing at the right moment. Making me fall for him that much faster.
Chapter 23
Weendedupmixingthe teams with guys and girls. Dakota asked, and he received. I laughed when he winked at me, enjoying how easy it was for him to get his way. He, of all people, deserved it. I’d be pressed to find one person on campus who wouldn’t want to do him a favor.
Once we all claimed our golf clubs and colored golf balls, we started towards the course. I noticed my brother lingering behind the rest and moved next to him to ask,
“What’s your problem? Other than your usual disapproval of life?”
“I…” He paused like he wasn’t completely sure. “I don’t think I’m making the right decision here. This kind of feels like sucking up to the popular people to get a seat at the good lunch table.”
I sighed. “It’s not about the right or wrong decision. This is about showing people you’re not a guy with a stick up your ass.”
He snorted. “What if I am?”
“Fake it,” I joked. “Seriously, though? I know you. Before college, you actually enjoyed doing things that didn’t start with an ‘F’ and end with an ‘L.’”
Kai twirled his club in his hand as we followed the rest of the group. “Was there a before college? Everything feels like a dream. Or at least I want it to feel like a dream because I hated life before now.”
“I feel you.”
Before Dad found his footing in coaching and Mom went back to school to get her degree, life was rough. We’d even spent a year sleeping in a hotel. Things started to change when Kai earned the quarterback position on our high school team, and I found a semi-working Canon T3i at a thrift store. Once we found what we were good at, things around us started getting good too. I saw life as only going up from here. My brother took a more pessimistic approach.
“Just because you’re not doing your thing constantly doesn’t mean the universe is going to protest, retaliate, and take back everything it’s given you,” I said in a low voice to comfort him.
“Logically, I know that.” Kai nodded, still moving the club between his fingers in a quick, precise motion. “But still, some part of me screams not to get complacent. Not to get too comfortable.”
I stopped walking, and he paused too with a confused look on his face. The others were yards ahead of us now. The carefree laughter and joking voices contrasted the firm line that permanently resided on my brother’s brow.
He took everything too seriously. I didn’t take things seriously enough — until it was too late. I admired Kai for that part of him. He looked at every angle and refused to back down until the problem was solved. If I did half of the observing and thinking he did, I wouldn’t have ended up in shitty relationship after shitty relationship. But, for all the pros on his outlook, Kai dealt with serious cons.
“You know we’re safe now, right?” I asked. “We’re moving up in the world. Have you seen our house, Kai? It has a garage and everything. Have you seen it?”
He smiled and this one lit up his face. I grinned back, happy to provide some sort of joy. His grumpy temperament couldn’t be good for his blood pressure.
“Yes, Emmy, I’ve seen it.” There was amusement in his tone. “We’ve been here for months. I’ve seen everything.”
I punched his shoulder playfully. “Good, then, you know it’s real.”
“Something can be real and gone in an instant.” Kai still wore a smile as he spoke, but his words brought a cloud over the conversation.
My face fell a bit because I knew he was right. Things could be gone in the blink of an eye. Exhibit A: the football coaches from last year. Their families had lived on the street we lived on now. Maybe even the same house. Now, where were they? How easily could we slide back into living in a hotel? If I gave it some thought, it’d only take one or two moments of bad luck for our family to be back at square one.
“Damn, you’re such a downer,” I grumbled and shoved Kai again. This time I meant the push, but he didn’t look offended. Kai shrugged and then, reached for the beer in my hand. I’d ordered another one before we came outside. Dakota offered to pay for a drink and I figured, why not? I’d drunk a cup of water between, so I felt good.
