“Me being there for other people? Is it annoying?”
“It wouldn’t make any sense to be annoyed. But, as a friend —” I winced a little at the word but barreled forward anyway — “It’s concerning.”
“I’ve been told it’s a turn-off,” he shared and took another sip of his drink.
“By who?”
“Some girl I was getting to know.”
I held back the urge to say,yeah, that makes sense.Because in some ways, it did. People liked feeling special. I could see being in a relationship with Dakota could have someone wonder if they were another entry on his long list of things to help.
“Dating sucks,” I said in a softer tone. “I’m sure she’s kicking herself now because she’s missing out.”
Dakota smiled as he shook his head. “I don’t think so, but thanks for that all the same.”
“I’d be kicking myself,” I confessed. “Kind of already am.”
The words tumbled out before I could rethink. Dakota’s smile vanished, replaced with lines on his forehead. He took another sip of tea. I followed suit while trying to think of ways to retract my statement with grace.
“Was that a reference to your break-up?” he asked in a gentle tone. Dakota watched me as I ran a nervous hand over my head. I chewed on my lip as I debated on whether to take the out.
I sighed and let the truth slip through the cracks. “No.”
Dakota’s jaw tightened a bit. Something was different about his eyes as he took me in. He moved close enough to touch me. I didn’t think he’d actually reach out, but his hand lightly traced the back of mine. I looked down, watching his thumb move over my knuckles. Each brush of his fingertips made my breath a little heavier.
“I understand the wall you have up because of what your ex and your friends did to you,” he whispered as he flipped my hand over. “And I know it’s going to take some time to heal. But I want… I need you to know not everyone out there is going to hurt you like that.”
“I know not everyone, just the majority of them,” I joked. He didn’t crack a smile. Dakota heard the honesty laced in my humor, which was a big ‘oh no’ moment for me. If I couldn’t hide my feelings with sarcasm when he was around, I was in big trouble.
He shook his head. His fingers ran light circles around the heel of my palm. “No. Not even the majority.”
I wanted to laugh and calm down my racing heart except there was no air left in my lungs. Not when Dakota lifted my hand to press his lips against the back of it.
“I won’t let them,” he said, with such surety in his tone.
The kiss against my skin made me question everything. My bedroom was only a few yards away. I could invite him in. Old Emmy would invite him in. New Emmy couldn’t get past the fear of falling too fast.
“Now that you and I are…” Dakota looked unsure for a moment.
“Friends,” I offered even though it sounded silly because I moved closer to him now. With no more space between us, I could smell the sugar on his breath. His parted lips begged to be kissed. When I bit on my bottom lip to keep myself from moving closer, his eyes narrowed in on the movement.
“Friends,” he repeated before leaning closer.
One of his hands touched my cheek. The gesture was almost too light to feel. I leaned into him, wanting more than the feather touch.
“What am I doing?” he asked, talking more to himself than me.
“Being an affectionate friend,” I teased, hoping my words would make him feel comfortable. “I’m a fan of affectionate friends, by the way.”
“You enjoy kissing your friends?” he asked, not taking his eyes off of my mouth as he spoke.
“Not all the time.”
“On the lips?” he elaborated. “Pressed against the wall? Hands exploring their body? With the urge to move lower? Spread their legs wider?”
My breath caught in my throat. I shook my head, too surprised to speak.
“Good. Me either.” He pulled away then and reached out to finish the last of his drink. “I only want to do that to people I like.”
