“I’m not just going for appearances. I’ve been cooped up in this house for nearly a year. If it wasn’t for the lawn service, I’d be an official hermit. I’m going to the silly block party,” I said while leaning over the kitchen sink to peer out the window. “No matter how many of these people talk bad about my baking.”
Nate frowned, not agreeing with my conclusion but leaving me alone for now.
Outside, our neighbors were already setting up lawn chairs in their yards and tables to lay out food. Everyone pitched in with the meal. This year, our family was in charge of dessert. Mom didn’t want to give Mrs. Johnson something to complain about during Sunday service. So, she planned to avoid the event altogether. Her decision meant I was in charge of the fifteen peach pies and cooler full of vanilla ice cream. I took on the task to make sure people didn’t see our family as a bunch of freeloaders.
“Well, if you’ve already made up your mind, then why are you complaining?” Nate stared at his phone screen as he spoke to me. He rubbed a shiny coin between his fingers, something I think he believed brought him luck. Tonight, he was seeing his ex, so he needed it.
“I need someone to vent to,” I confessed, pulling away from the window. “But I can see you’re very busy.”
My sarcasm made him look up. He sucked on the back of his teeth, annoyed that his desire to help me outweighed whatever video he was watching on social media.
“Don’t let the gossip get to you,” he suggested. “It’s simple, Kira. I’ve told you that a billion times.”
I snorted. “Very simple for a guy who placed second in nationals and gets to escape to school after the summer. What’s there to complain about when someone has all that to look forward to?”
He pushed off of the counter and came by my side to pinch my cheek. “You’re looking a little green.”
“Piss off.” I swatted his hand away.
“It’s a bright, lime green,” he lifted one of my twists, pretending to examine my scalp. “Very fresh and quite off-putting.”
“I’m done with this conversation,” I announced and moved to the freezer to unload the ice cream in the cooler.
He chuckled. “Oh, come on. I’m offering sound advice. You need to just jump in and fail a few times.”
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. “When in the history of ever was ‘don’t let it get to you’ good advice? While you’re at it, you should tell a sad person to not be sad.”
Nate made a face, indicating he understood my point. “Fair. What I’m trying to say is there comes a point when you can only learn from making mistakes. You need to decide to be an active part of your life.”
I held back a snippy retort. Today was supposed to be fun. The first day of summer and when most of my friends were coming home from university. With my brother finally here and the high possibility of Leo not coming home, I hoped this summer would be wonderful. So, why did I have to go poke the bear and start Nate on a tangent about my inability to make decisions?
“Make a list, close your eyes, and point to one of the many college programs I’m sure you’ve done extensive research on. And then, you too will get to escape come the end of the summer. You’ll be able to leave all of this behind.” He shrugged like it was a no-brainer. Like I could just spin the bottle and let fate decide my future.
“You know I can’t close my eyes. I want stats. Data.” I waved my hands around, trying to emphasize my point. “College is a lot of money to waste if you don’t have direction. You know I don’t have scholarship money like some people.”
“That green is a dark, mossy shade now,” he shared.
“I’m thrilled for you,” I promised. “Jealousy is the last thing on my mind. You, sir, are my inspiration.”
After years of practicing, finally seeing Nate get within arm’s reach of his dreams was like having a front seat in a masterclass. His swim meets were some of my favorite memories. Mostly because he always looked in my direction when he received a medal. And without fail, he’d throw the medal around my neck each time he hopped off the podium as if we both won.
“Well, that is my job,” he teased as he moved to help me unload the ice cream.
“Andersons!” Claire called from the front door.
“We’re in here,” I called back to her.
She appeared in the kitchen doorway dressed in a beautiful yellow maxi dress that looked perfect on her dark skin and wide hips. Claire’s typically kinky hair was straightened and pulled back in a low ponytail that cascaded down her back. She dressed to kill, and I think Nate was gasping for his last breath.
“Y’all almost ready?” She didn’t even glance at Nate. Since their break-up last year, I was the middleman in their relationship. I often relayed messages between the two like a carrier pigeon. It hurt to see them this distant when I looked up to them so much in high school. From what I saw, they had the perfect relationship. I dreamt of being as in love as they seemed. I hoped this summer would prove an end to their quiet feud. From the way my brother stood frozen and Claire hadn’t blinked, I would hope for a little while longer.
“Nearly.” I took a quick look at Nate, who was staring at an ice cream tub like it was the answer to all of life’s mysteries. “Is everyone else set up?”
“Dorthea had her nephew lay out the chicken and potatoes. Frank’s already getting requests for music — complaining about the taste of our generation.” She made a face, and I laughed. “Maria and Pilar brought beer and ramen. Odd choice but who’s complaining.”
“Imma get this outside,” Nate said in a low voice as he closed the cooler and wheeled it past Claire. She let him through without a glance. Once he was out of earshot, she asked,
“Did you read my email about the writing mentorship?” She looked hopeful and came closer to lean on the counter. “I know this will be a great fit for you. It’s a perfect program to enter since you’re still on the fence about university. Last year, it was remote for us, so that kind of took the fun out of it. But this time, they’re paying for room and board in Cali.”
