Chapter 13
“I’m not over you.” Leo shared the confession as if it were simple. A point-blank sentence that changed everything. So why did he look like it changed nothing? He sat with relaxed shoulders and an unbothered brow.
“You’re not?” My palms were sweaty, so I pressed them flat against the cool bed sheets.
Leo noticed my awkward movements. “I’m making you uncomfortable. Should I change the subject?”
“No,” I said a bit too fast, so I redeemed myself with a more gentle repeat, “No.”
His laugh was low and airy. God, if I could be as collected as he was when confessing my feelings, I would have done it ages ago. I would have been doing it left and right just because it was nice to not carry around the weight.
“You’re very chill for a guy who just admitted to having feelings for someone.” My voice was so low it could barely be heard.
Leo shrugged. “I’m not trying to act on them, so that helps with keeping calm.”
And there was the hammer. Dropping so quickly, I almost missed it in a blink.
“The other day at the pool reminded me of a promise I made a long time ago,” he continued.
“We both know you’ve broken those before,” I mumbled, with a little annoyance in my tone. One minute, he was confessing his feelings. The next moment, he was telling me he wasn’t going to do anything despite still having said feelings.
“I don’t want to break this one.” Leo leaned in a little closer when I looked away. “Hear me out?”
“I’m listening.”
“Do you…” He paused for a moment. “Do you feel the same?”
My heart sped up, but I still nodded. “Sometimes.”
“Sometimes?” He smiled.
“Often - like now, for instance - I don’t like you much at all.”
Leo’s smile widened, amused at my snappy statement. “Why’s that?”
“Because you do this.” I pushed off the bed and walked towards my bedroom door in hopes moving would calm me down? My thoughts were overlapping so fast I couldn’t focus. “You offer me things and then… you put up a wall. You pull away. It makes me so frustrated.”
“I’m not trying to frustrate you.” Leo’s expression was somber now after seeing me move away. He pushed off the bed too, closing the space between us. I turned around, my back now pressed against the door.
Leo looked like he wanted to step closer. He kept his distance, shoving his hands in pockets as if the movement helped keep his feet planted.
“The space I keep between us is me doing my best to have some form of control. You of all people should understand that,” he said, words tumbling out like they’d always been under the surface, ready to spill over. “I don’t want you…”
“That’s clear now.” My throat tightened. I pressed harder against the door, hoping the groves would help steady me. I refused to have a breakdown in front of him. He’d already gotten so many years of my pining, Leo wouldn’t get a front-row seat to my broken heart as well.
“I didn’t mean it like that.” He moved closer now. One step, and then two more. The air was heavy with something I hadn’t felt from him until the pool the other day. Longing. His body communicated it so clearly. More clear than any words he’d ever uttered.
I studied his stiff jaw. His eyes lingered on where I was chewing my bottom lip. When I released the flesh, he let out an exhale that sounded like a painful sigh. He shook his head, rubbing his own lips with his fingers for a second before saying,
“I told you this because I thought it’d help explain why I pulled away at the pool. Staying away from you sucks. But I do it because I never felt like I could control my feelings when it comes to you. And I desperately need to do that, Kira.”
“Was your promise to Nate?” I asked. “I’m assuming that’s why you have little trouble keeping it.”
He brushed his hand over his jaw. “No, not to Nate.”
Lines formed between my brows. “Who then?”
“Myself. I promised I’d stay away from you.”
