I swallowed. My fingers started to shake, so I tucked them into my pockets. Weston’s eyes scanned my face as though he was trying to figure out how to make sense of my expression. He was reading me like I was an old story he wanted to remember.
“I feel so selfish in asking this,” he whispered in the next part.
I shook my head. “Don’t think about it. Just do it.”
He chuckled. “The shoe’s on the other foot today. When did you get so relaxed?”
“When did you get so shy?” I questioned.
He shrugged. “When I lost you and couldn’t come up with a decent enough plan to get you back.”
“Weston-”
“Covee,” he interrupted. “Let me finish. I’ve been playing this scene over and over in my head, trying to get it right. This is as close as I could get, but it still falls short.”
I pressed my lips together and nodded, a silent promise to give him all the time he needed. I watched him rub his hands together as he started pacing back and forth.
“I should have listened to you.” Weston paused in front of me with his courage intact. He surprised me by grabbing both of my hands.
“Well, that’s always a good start to any apology,” I teased.
He chuckled and brought my hands up as if he was going to kiss my knuckles but thought against it.
“It’s not just the coach thing,” he continued. “Although that could have gone better. It’s when we were at the house that final night. I could have stayed. I could have left the job to Lawrence. I didn’t, and that’s mostly because I had convinced myself I couldn’t be anything but temporary to you.”
“I know. There didn’t seem like anything I did could prove otherwise. I couldn’t find the right words.”
“Covee, no one could have convinced me otherwise,” he promised. “That’s not even the worst part. I left. And didn’t look back. For the longest time, I didn’t want to look back.”
Now that part hurt. His words sunk into my skin and went straight for bone. Never looked back? I hung onto him after he disappeared. And I assumed that he was also holding on to what we had.
My eyes locked onto our entwined fingers and I pulled out of his grasp.
“Wow, okay.” I stepped back and instinctively brushed my cheek with the back of my hand. There were tears there. God damn it. Crying seemed to be the only reliable thing in my life.
“Covee.” Weston tried to reach up to wipe away the rest of my tears. I pulled away before he could.
“Just go on,” I told him while looking over his shoulder, training my eyes on the twisted branches of a nearby tree. I just needed a few moments to center myself without looking at him, and then I’d be good.
Weston let out a frustrated sigh. “Shit, I didn’t mean it like that. Now, I’m playing it over in my head and it sounds horrible.”
Despite the tears, I smiled at him. “I’ve never seen you like this. You’re nervous. I didn’t think Weston Briggs got nervous.”
His shoulder sagged when he saw my smile. “Yeah, I didn’t think I did either. But, almost killing a guy… twice will do that to you.”
“Well, at least we know you have a heart,” I joked with a hollow laugh.
He bit his lip before saying, “When I left, I thought that space would give me a chance to resume life before us. But Covee, being with you was the most incredible part of my life. It was good with you. I was almost good.”
“I never needed you to be good,” I reminded him.
“Yeah, but I should have been. You deserved that and so much more. And I kept tainting it with distractions. Dark distractions… and fun distractions.”
“Mm.” I agreed with blush coloring my cheeks as I remembered.
He laughed, probably thinking about one of his more favorite moments. My skin heated more when I guessed at what he was thinking about. Hands down, it had to be the truck night. I would bet my life on it.
“My rules were a crutch,” he continued. “Your safety net and my wall. I’m sorry for lording them over you.”
