“West,” I whispered and reached for his hand to remind him he wasn’t there.
He nodded and gently squeezed me before letting go and saying, “Anyway. Oliver was in love with this freshman, Shiloh. But she wouldn’t give him the time of day. She didn’t pay attention to anyone really. Oliver wore her down after a while. They were friends until… he found out she was being raped by Trenton. Of course, Trenton didn’t see it that way. According to him, she was in love.”
Weston scoffed, disgusted at the idea. I watched him lick his bottom lip before continuing, “Oliver was livid. When he found out, he went straight to the headmaster.”
My brow furrowed. I could guess what happened next but I needed to hear him say it. “Go on. What did the headmaster do?”
“Laughed.” Weston’s jaw clenched. “I went with Oliver and the bastard laughed. He sent us away, so we came back with our parents. Oliver’s parents chuckled too. Like they were amused by his schoolyard crush. Mine didn’t bat a lash, but I didn’t for a second think they’d do anything, so I wasn’t surprised. Lawrence and Andrew’s father pulled us aside and gave us the best advice I’ve ever heard in my life.”
“What’s that?” I watched Weston’s face. His eyes went from angry to sad to angry again.
“Never wait for someone to do the right thing,” he said in a steady voice. “You see something wrong; you take care of it. Use the language your problem uses.”
My eyes trailed back outside of the window as I tried to imagine what a young Weston felt. He probably felt like I had when my mother didn’t help me during my father’s abusive tirades. Betrayed. Alone. Helpless.
Except, he wasn’t helpless. He became violent instead.
“No one was listening,” Weston said with a waver in his voice. For a brief moment, he was that teen again. Desperate for an adult to step in. “I got tired of talking. We all did. So, we burned his house instead.”
We turned on a road with the sign that read “dead end”. It didn’t take us long to get to the end of the street. There was an empty lot with overgrown grass and cement where the foundation of a house should have stood. Weston put the car in park but didn’t move to unbuckle his seatbelt.
“How far are we from Fairfield?” I asked, recognizing the oak trees in the lot.
“About twenty miles out,” Weston said with his face still turned forward.
“This was the house,” I said, lamely.
“Yeah,” he confirmed. “We waited until he left for work and then burned it. Oliver wanted him inside. I was the only one who could convince him it wasn’t worth it. The other guys were all in… When it was over, I sometimes wished I listened to them.”
I nodded. “He was horrible. You shouldn’t be ashamed of wanting something horrible to happen to monsters.”
“But I should be ashamed of inflicting that horror.” He finally looked at me, eyes wide, mouth parted with a sigh. “Right? But I’m not. Covee, I’m not. It’s scary sometimes but it feels helluva a lot better than being on the other side.”
My heart ached. I reached up to touch his cheek. He stopped my hand halfway and brought my fingers to his lips.
“After the stuff with the trial blew over,” Weston said in a low voice with my fingers still lightly pressed on his lips. “Lawrence and I started looking for trouble on the weekends. We found people willing to hire muscle in exchange for things like money and favors. Lawrence tried to get interviews, I tried to get recruiters to come to my games. It worked, until it didn’t.
“Lawrence got caught beating an off duty cop. He served time and I stayed low. Until this year when some guy at this stupid country club asked me for a favor. Said he remembered hearing my name in his circle. And something in me clicked. Like a light switch, I was alive again.”
I swallowed and watched him in silence for a moment. He stared back looking with longing in his eyes. When I tried to smile, he let out a sigh.
“I’m sorry,” he said, quickly. “I just wanted you to know all of me. The dark parts, and whatnot. You said that’s what people that care about you know.”
I nodded, earnestly. “Don’t apologize. I’m not afraid or disappointed. I’m sad. So sad that you’ve been alone.”
Weston’s shoulders sagged as he saw my face. “That’s the last thing I wanted you to feel, Cove.”
I leaned in closer. Weston pressed his forehead against mine with closed eyes. I breathed him in deeply, memorizing his scent. When my hand stroked his cheek, he opened his eyes. The chaos of blue and green looked afraid.
“Now you know why I can’t let Axe and Bill get off with a slap on the wrist,” he said in a breathy voice. “But my way is wrong, right?”
I shook my head. “I can’t decide that for you.”
Being his moral compass was a fool’s errand. Everyone had to develop one on their own. I’d learned that from years of watching my mom love a man who would call her crazy and me, mental.
Weston nodded as he trained his eyes on my face. “So, is this our end? You’ll leave after we get back?”
I could barely swallow the lump in my throat. “I don’t know. I just...Can I give you what I researched so far? Maybe it’ll help you figure out another way. You don’t have to use it. But I think it’ll be helpful.”
