My wolf spirit snarled at the thought.She's OURS. The Great Mother chose her for us. She's perfect.
Maybe she was. Maybe the Great Mother had her reasons for binding me to a human. But that didn't change the political reality I lived in. Which meant I absolutely could not touch her again.
I stood quickly, stepping back, putting distance between us. Daska was watching me.
"We need to move at first light," I said, my voice rougher than intended. "Can they travel?"
"The female can if we keep the pace moderate. The male will need the stretcher for several more days at least." Daska hesitated. "Rivik..."
"I’ve assigned night watches, but I haven’t included you in the shift pattern. I assume you’ll be up checking on these two anyway," I interrupted, not wanting to hear whatever he was about to say. "I'll take first watch. We'll rotate every few hours. Everyone's exhausted and everyone needs sleep."
I turned and walked away before he could respond, before I could look at her again, before I could do something stupid like sit down beside her and refuse to leave.
The rest of the evening passed in a blur of necessary tasks. I consulted with Torin and Jarak about tomorrow's route, choosing a path that would take us through easier terrain. It would be slower, but manageable for the packmates carrying the stretcher. And for her. I assigned watch rotations, making sure my strongest wolves got the middle shifts when everyone would be deepest asleep and most vulnerable. Checked on my pack, making sure everyone had eaten and tended their gear and knew their responsibilities. Being alpha meant carrying the weight of every decision. Meant always thinking three steps ahead, always preparing for threats that might never come. It meant putting the pack first, always.
Even when every instinct was now screaming at me to put her first.
As darkness settled fully over the camp, I shifted into wolf form and padded to the edge of our perimeter. The watch position gave me a clear view of the camp while keeping me separate from it, which was exactly what I needed.
My wolf form was large even by alpha standards. Grey and silver with darker markings along my spine and shoulders. Built for endurance and power rather than speed, made for protecting territory and defending the pack. In this form, my senses sharpened. I could hear every breath from the sleeping wolves, smell the smoke from the dying fires, track the movement of small creatures through the underbrush.
And I could watch her without anyone questioning it.
She lay by the smaller fire, wrapped in Daska's furs, her injured leg positioned carefully. Even in sleep, she seemed tense. Still on guard even in unconsciousness.
What happened to you?I wondered.What did you survive before we found you?
I didn't understand it, couldn't interpret what I was sensing, but it felt like loss. Like grief. She'd been hurt. Badly. And not by anything physical.
My wolf spirit wanted to go to her. Wanted to curl around her and keep her warm and safe and show her that nothing would hurt her again. The urge was so strong I actually took two steps toward her before I caught myself.
No. You can't.
I needed guidance. Needed to talk to the elders, to hear their wisdom about this impossible situation. My mother would have known what to do—she'd been wise about matters of the heart and the bond. But she'd passed three winters ago, and my father had followed her within the year, his heart simply giving out from the grief.
I had Elder Sira, though. She'd been alive longer than anyone could remember, had seen more matings and bonds than anyone in the pack. She might have heard of something like this before. Might know if there was precedent, or wisdom, or any path forward that didn't end in disaster.
Until then, I needed to stay away. Needed to avoid touching her, avoid being alone with her, avoid anything that might strengthen a bond that shouldn't exist.
Help her pack recover, then send them away. That was the only solution that protected everyone.
It'll hurt,I acknowledged.When she leaves, it'll hurt. But if no bond can strengthen and form completely, it won't destroy me. It'll be bearable.
I wanted to believe that.
The night deepened. The camp settled into true sleep, just the soft sounds of breathing and shifting bodies and the crack of logsin the fires. I paced the perimeter, checking scents on the wind, listening for anything out of place.
When my watch ended and Torin came to relieve me, I should have gone to my own sleeping area. Should have curled up with the rest of the pack and gotten what rest I could before dawn.
Instead I found myself padding back toward the smaller fire.
They were all asleep. The alpha and his mate on one side, the small female curled near the injured male's stretcher, Daska on the opposite side. And her, there in the middle, vulnerable in sleep.
Wrong. That was all wrong.
Before I could think better of it, I lowered myself to the ground between her and everyone else, careful not to touch her. If anything threatened during the night, it would have to go through me first.
Just for tonight,I told myself.Just to make sure she's safe. Tomorrow you'll keep your distance.
