Pride warred with grief in my chest as I watched Daska's broad form move steadily down the trail. He was a good man. The best. If anyone deserved Ellie, if anyone could keep her safe and loved and whole…
The thought twisted like a knife, and I shoved it away before it could finish forming.
The group was nearly to the pass now, the distance between us growing with every breath.
And then she stopped.
Ellie turned, her small figure barely visible against the snow, and looked back.
The bondflared.
For one suspended heartbeat, I felt her as clearly as if she stood beside me, the ache in her chest, the confusion and grief and hope all tangled together, the pull toward me that she didn't understand and couldn't name.
I didn't move. Didn't raise a hand or call out or give any sign that my heart was being carved out of my chest. I just stood there, silent and still, and let her look.
Go,I thought, willing the bond to carry it to her.Go and be safe. Go and live.
Then Daska's hand settled on her shoulder, gentle and grounding, and she turned away.
They disappeared into the trees.
The bond screamed. I don't know how long I stayed there after they vanished, watching where they had faded from view. Long enough for the sun to start to fall. Long enough for the pack below to drift back to their daily routines, the moment of departure already fading into memory for them. Long enough for my body to go numb from standing motionless in the cold.
The silence was wrong. The valley felt wrong. Everything feltwrong, like the world had tilted slightly off its axis and I was the only one who could feel it.
I told myself this would pass. That the sharp edge of the bond's pain would dull with time and distance. That I would adapt, adjust, learn to function around this hollow ache in my chest the way one learned to favour an old injury.
I told myself the pack needed me here. That Karik's threat still loomed, even if he'd withdrawn for now. That my people depended on my strength, my leadership, my unwavering presence at the centre of everything they knew.
I told myself she would be happier without me. Safer. Free to return to her own world without the complication of a bond she hadn't asked for and didn't want.
I told myself I had made the right choice.
The bond pulsed again, and the pain made my breath catch.
Liar.
I sank down onto the cold stone, my legs suddenly unable to hold my weight. My hands curled into fists against my thighs as I stared out at the empty trail, trying to force logic over instinct, duty over desire.
But the bond didn't care about logic.
It justhurt.
A searing, constant pain that radiated through my chest with every heartbeat. Steady and relentless, impossible to ignore. A fatal wound that would never heal. The realization crept over me slowly, cold and inexorable as winter. This wasn't temporary. This wasn't something I could grit my teeth and endure until it passed. The bond waspermanent. As long as I lived, as long as she drew breath somewhere in this world, I would feel this pain.
I could lead the pack. I could make decisions and enforce laws and stand as the unshakable foundation my people needed. But inside, I would be hollow.
A shell going through the motions. An alpha in name only, because the part of me that made mewholewas walking awayacross the mountains, slipping further out of reach with every passing moment.
How long could I last like that? Seasons? A lifetime? Would I slowly fade into a ghost of myself, loved and respected but never trulypresent? Or would the bond's constant pull eventually drive me mad, turn me into something dangerous and unpredictable, a threat to the very pack I was trying to protect?
I'd seen it happen. Not often, but enough times to know the pattern. Mated wolves who lost their other half didn't just grieve, theybroke. Some went feral, lashing out at anything that came near. Others simply stopped eating, stopped sleeping, stoppedcaringuntil they faded away like smoke. The lucky ones died quickly in battle or accidents, their broken bonds making them reckless and self-destructive.
The unlucky ones lasted a long time.
Was that what I was choosing? A slow death disguised as duty?
The pack needs you.
