“Goodnight, Robbie,” Esme said.
“Sleep well, kid,” I said.
“I always do.”
We stepped out into the night. The air was cold and clean, salt and woodsmoke and the last of autumn. Esme still had my hand. I still had the sunflower she’d brought to me. Crushed, bent, missing a petal, and absolutely perfect. Just like us.
We walked to the car without saying anything. We didn’t need to right then. There had been so much said already. All those late-night discussions. Every text and phone call. All of it leading us to this moment. Yet, there would always be more to say to my Esme. More conversations. More kisses and hand holding and laughter. More plans for the future and memories to make. Together.
19
ESME
The drive to Grady's cottage took on the qualities of a dream. A harvest moon hung low in the sky, casting a spell over Willet Cove. On a night like this, it was easy to imagine that every good thing was coming my way. Grady Nash loved me, and I loved him. Nothing had ever felt more right than sitting next to him under the ethereal sky.
I detached the sunflower hat and tossed it into the back seat, then ran my fingers through my hair, massaging my tender scalp where I’d attached it with pins. My lips felt almost swollen from the kisses we’d shared, yet I still ached for more.
Grady's hand was on my knee, and every few seconds his thumb moved in a small circle against my leg, as if he’d been doing it for years. But no, I had to remind myself. We’d never crossed over from friendship to anything more. He’d always been respectful and careful. Everything had changed in the moments we shared on the patio. I was ready.
“You okay?” Grady asked, glancing over at me.
I smiled in the dim light, impossibly happy. “I’m good. Better than good. You?”
“I feel as if I can breathe for the first time in a long time.”
I settled back in the seat, my gaze on the moon. “It’s so pretty.”
“It is, yes.”
“Would you want to live anywhere else?” I asked. “Do you feel pulled back to L.A. and your old job?”
“The only pull I feel is toward you.”
“I’m going to have to call my parents and tell them I changed my mind.”
“Will they be angry?”
“Probably. But maybe we can mend fences, now that we’re back in contact. I have to protect myself, though. They can hurt me quicker than anyone else. You’d think I wouldn’t care about their opinion any longer, but that’s not how it is.”
“I know.”
We pulled into his driveway. The cottage sat at the end of a narrow dirt road, tucked between two dunes, fifty yards from the water. It was a small one bedroom with a bathroom, a kitchen that was really just a counter and a stove, and a living area with a couch and windows that faced the ocean. Since I’d known him, he’d lived here, a minute walk to his beloved waves. His surf shop was only a few feet away. I’d thought this was who he was. A free spirit who didn’t care for a conventional life. I’d no idea the depth of pain he’d kept hidden from me and everyone else.
He cut the engine. The silence was almost jolting. No music, no party noise, no kids. Just the ocean, rhythmic and steady, and the tick of the cooling engine.
“You ready to go inside?” Grady asked.
“Yes. I’ve been here so many times, but this feels different.”
“It is. I’m a little nervous.”
“Yeah, me too,” I said.
He turned to me. The moonlight caught his face, illuminating his strong jaw and high cheekbones. “This is what you want, right?”
“More than anything.” I leaned across the console and kissed him. The gearshift pressed into my thigh, and two crushed sunflower petals fell into his lap. “I think it’s best if we go inside.”
He laughed, brushing my hair away from my face. “Let’s do this.”
