“He made me feel like something was wrong with me. A lot of people do.”
The backs of my eyes stung. “There’s nothing wrong with you, buddy. Anyway, maybe it’s all of those so-called normal people who are actually wrong.”
“Was your dad mean to you?” Robbie carefully set down his sandwich before taking a sip of his soup. He was not the dip your sandwich in the soup kind of guy. Food must be separated. I’d learned that the first time I hung out with him and made the mistake of putting everything too close on his plate. “Or just other people?”
“He was mean to me too. But not like what he did to those women.”
“Why did he do it? I looked up the kind of assault committed by your father, and it’s widely thought that it’s about power over the victims.”
“I don’t know why he did it. But he did. And he got away with it for a long time.”
“Why didn’t you want anyone to know who you are?” Robbie asked.
“It’s hard to explain. I felt like everyone would think there was something wrong with me. Because of what he did. But I also wanted to distance myself from him. To start fresh. I felt ashamed, I guess.”
“When my father left, I sincerely hoped I would never have to see him again. So I understand.” Robbie dabbed at his mouth with a napkin and pushed away his empty plate. “One time, before they got divorced, my dad took me to a monster truck show. He proceeded to have many beers and kept getting louder and louder. I could see the people around us wishing they’d sat somewhere else. At one point, he went to get another beer and tripped coming back to our seats. Landed on his face. Beer and popcorn went everywhere. He didn’t get up for a second. Ithought he might be dead, but he wasn’t. He just had a bloody nose. He was angry, though. At me. There was a look in his eyes—I don’t know how to explain it exactly, but it was like he hated me. I thought he might hit me in front of all those people. I didn’t understand why he was mad at me. That bothers me. He’s a puzzle I can’t solve.”
“I can’t say for sure, but he was probably mad at himself and needed someone to blame it on.”
“Regardless, I’m telling you this story to tell you I get it. I wished I wasn’t his son that day. I could feel people pitying me. Looking at me as if I were a victim. I didn’t care for that. And all I wanted to do was run away and never see him again.”
“Yep, that pretty much sums it up.”
“I was wondering something, though,” Robbie said. “Do you miss having money?”
I blinked, surprised by the question. “How do you know I had money?”
“It’s not hard to understand,” Robbie said, sounding extra patient. “You had a big job that paid very well. Fifteen percent of whatever deals you brokered for your clients, who, from what I could see, were very successful. In addition, you were from a very wealthy family. However, now it’s clear you donothave money now or you would have helped Mother when she needed it.”
“Your mother’s unlikely to take help.”
“It would hurt her, but she would do it if it was something for Madison or me.”
I shook my head, marveling at this kid. “You’re correct on all counts.”
“Did you know? What your father was doing?” Robbie asked.
“No. Never.”
“Did people believe you?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t stick around long enough to find out.”
“I believe you.”
“Thanks, buddy.”
“There’s something I would like to ask you about.”
“Shoot.”
“I’m sorry?”
“I mean, go for it,” I said.
“Actually, there are two things.”
I waited.
