“Try,” I said.
“Okay, well, there are several elements to it. One is that I didn’t want the press following me. It was really bad. They followed my sister and I everywhere. Hounded us for information. I’d wake in the mornings to see a crowd of reporters waiting for me outside my condo. I felt hunted. In addition, I felt this overwhelming urge to rid myself of any ties to him. I wanted to figure out who I was outside of the family business. And, finally, I didn’t trust anyone not to sell me out to the press.”
“Even me?”
“I knew you wouldn’t sell me out. You would never do that. But you have children. Precious children. I didn’t want any of my sick past to hurt them. It wasn’t totally rational, I guess, but it’s the truth.”
I stared at him. His hair the color of butterscotch and the freckles on his cheeks and his full, firm mouth. All so familiar, and, yet, I had no idea who he really was. “I don’t know you at all. That’s the part that’s hard. I thought we were so close.”
“Youdoknow me. This is who I am.” He gestured around his shabby house. “I’m obsessed with the surf. I love to bake and have bonfires on the beach and living in a small town a few blocks from my best friend. That’s you.”
I smiled despite trying to remain cold.
“I love watching documentaries with Robbie and playing Barbies with Madison. And most of all, I love hanging out with you doing nothing. I thought if you knew who I was—that my father’s a predator—you wouldn’t let me anywhere near your kids.”
“You’re not a predator.”
“I’m not. But I know how careful you are about letting people near your kids. I don’t know—.” He choked up. “Esme, I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you. That’s the last thing I’d ever want to do. I didn’tknow we would grow close. By the time we did, it was too late. I’d already kept my past from you.”
“Did you ever think about telling me?”
“So many times. But I knew, if I told you, you’d tell your girlfriends, and then my fresh start would be over. I wanted the past to stay there. I just wanted to forget it all and start over.”
“All this time, I’ve thought you’re just a flaky surfer, and it turns out you’re from Hollywood royalty.”
He tilted his head to the side, his eyes filling with tears. “See, right there. That’s what I didn’t want. Now you see me differently. You’ll think of my father every time you look at me. And that’s going to break my heart. I’m never going to be anything but the son of a monster.”
“That’s not true. I see you and only you. Or the you I thought I knew.”
“Is there anything in your past you just want to forget? To put away forever?”
“Well, my ex-husband comes to mind. But, without him, I wouldn’t have the kids. So yeah, it doesn’t really work that way. Everything from our past informs who we are. Mistakes, family legacy, and choices we’ve made along the way, both good and bad, all come along for the ride.” I paused, looking at my hands. “I just want to know you, warts and all.”
“Esme, I know this is all a lot to take in, and I’m sorry. But I’ve shown you more about myself than I ever have with anyone.”
“You just left some of the details out,” I said. “A lot of details.”
He grimaced. “I know. And all I can ask is for your forgiveness. And your understanding. I hope our friendship has earned me that.”
I sighed, feeling anger leaving my body. He was right. He deserved more than judgment. None of this was about me. He’d gone through a horrible ordeal, and all I could think about wasbeing kept in the dark. It was actually quite selfish of me. “It has. I’m sorry. I’m just so shocked.”
“I get it.” He adjusted his position on the couch, turning to face me. “I have to go to L.A. tomorrow. To deal with all the legal stuff. There’s a probate attorney handling my father’s estate, and we’ve learned he left an inheritance for my sister and me.”
“Do you think he left you anything significant?” Esme asked.
“I don’t know. My sister said he set up trusts a long time ago, so they were protected legally.”
My phone rang. Madison’s school. “It’s school,” I said to Grady before answering. “This is Esme Taylor.”
“Ms. Taylor, this is the school nurse at Madison’s elementary. There’s been an accident on the playground.”
“What happened? Is she all right?” My heart clenched.
“She fell from the monkey bars. We think she’s broken her arm, possibly in two places. She’s in a lot of pain. We called an ambulance—she’s being taken to Willet Cove Memorial. You’ll need to meet her there.”
“Yes, yes, I’ll leave right away.” I hung up, and stood, legs shaking.
Grady rose to his feet, his complexion pale under his tan. “Is it Madison?”
