Charlotte ignored her comment completely and carried on talking.
‘Who was that tall, dark, dreamy guy with the black curly hair? He was two years above us and lived right opposite the school. You used to go over there at lunchtimes “for a sandwich”’—Charlotte managed to get all flavours of suggestion into her words—‘while we went down the Chinese to buy spring rolls with our dinner money.’
Sofia trawled her memory banks.
‘Ah yes, Jon. Both his parents were out all day working, which was extremely useful. Believe me, I learnt a lot more in an hour there than I ever did in biology.’
‘I bet you did.’ Maddie looked down at her plate. ‘There was only one boy at school I was interested in, and I think you both know who it was.’
Sofia hoped the food would arrive before Maddie drank anymore and got melancholy. Her friend had never been a good drunk, and an early experiment with Pernod, which the next morning had her convinced she’d gone blind, had elicited a promise that she’d never try it again. She’d not experienced Maddie on red wine, so they were in uncharted territory.
‘Lovely Tony.’ Charlotte raised her glass. ‘Your gorgeous,loyal, husband and our wonderful friend.’
Maddie caught Sofia’s eye and raised an eyebrow at Charlotte’s emphasis on the word loyal. Sofia gave a tiny shake of the head.
‘Tony always had time to listen and would give you an honest opinion. He stayed the same generous boy we knew in the sixth form for the rest of his life. He put you first every time, Mads. Whatever you wanted, he made it happen. You even managed to make him leave his beloved Surrey behind and move back up north with you. You had the best, no wonder you’re hurting so badly.’
As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Charlotte saw the confusion on her friends’ faces and regretted her choice of words. She’d let her anger at Doug infect what she’d said and turned things weird. Shutting up now was the best plan, before she started something she couldn’t stop.
‘To Tony!’
Her friends raised their glasses too.
‘Tony!’
Maddie took another large gulp of red wine before she spoke in a voice overlaid with sadness.
‘He was happy to move to Manchester too, Char, honestly. I didn’t force him. There were more job opportunities up there and we thought it was a better place to bring up the kids. My mum had gone back up north years before, and it’s nice to have your mum around when you’ve got small children.’
Charlotte wiped a tear from her eye with the linen napkin. The last thing she wanted was to force Maddie to justify herself.
‘Don’t mind me. I didn’t mean anything by it. Talking about school has brought it all back. I was just trying, very awkwardly it turns out, to say that I miss him too.’
The arrival of the starters stopped the conversation in its tracks, much to Sofia’s relief. She mustn’t drink anymore, or she was liable to lose it as well. The whole meal was going pear-shaped before they’d even started eating, and she still had to say what she needed to say.
The salad Sofia had ordered was a riot of colours, with bright green lettuce and spinach cradling plump black olives and scarlet tomatoes, while strips of seared peppers crisscrossed the plate. Pomegranate seeds like rubies nestled in the crevices, pine nuts dotted the leaves and shavings of golden cheese drizzled with an olive oil and herb dressing topped the lot.
‘Everything is so fresh here.’ She forked up a mouthful. ‘Mmmm. Even on a ferry we’re getting fantastic food.’
Maddie popped another helping ofgavros, the tiny whole fried fish she’d chosen as a starter, into her mouth, stopping only to dip them in the garlic mayonnaise first.
‘Yeah, on a British ferry you’d be faced with a choice between a sweaty sausage roll and a dodgy-looking prawn sandwich, taking your life in your hands as you ate it.’
As the main courses and desserts came and went, Sofia glanced up at the clock on the wall. She’d barely listened toMaddie and Charlotte’s conversation for the past half hour. She ripped open one of the packets containing lemon scented hand towels meant for those eating fish and rubbed it all over her hands and up to her wrists.
‘Cleansing your sins?’
Maddie’s voice brought her back round.
‘Sorry?’
‘You’ve been rubbing at the same bit for ages, sweetheart. And you haven’t been listening to a word we’ve been saying.’
The waiter brought over three shot glasses of complimentaryrakilaced with honey and herbs, the drink they’d first had at the monastery that already seemed to Sofia like months ago, not days.
It was time to tell the truth.
She lifted her glass to the sky.
