‘Please don’t say life and soul of the party.’
Maddie’s voice was sharper than she’d intended. She really didn’t want to hear any more tributes to her late husband, Saint Tony, as she called him in her head. He’d selfishly upped and left her fifteen months ago. One minute smiling his smile that pulled everyone in, the next breathing his last, laid out on the kitchen floor. A massive heart attack, they said; nothing that could have been done, they said. Her mind flooded with images of his handsome face, robbed of life. He’d left her to cope alone, but there was more, so much more.
At the gathering to mark a year since his death, she’d lost her temper and messed up so badly she was now estranged from her son and her gorgeous little baby granddaughter. The shame and guilt at her actions ambushed her at odd moments during the day and often woke her at night, stabbing the images of being told to get out of her son’s house into her brain over and over again.
She hadn’t even been able to tell the two women in front of her, her oldest and closest friends, what she’d done. They’d never look at her the same way again.
When she raised her head again, she caught the look of concern that passed between Sofia and Charlotte. She mustn’t spoil the mood. They all deserved a break. Sofia worked far too hard, and Charlotte was wound tight as a coil most of the time.
‘Let’s all go into town a bit later, when it’s cooled down. You know what they say about mad dogs and Englishwomen going out in the midday sun.’
Charlotte coughed.
‘Er, I think it’s Englishmen…’
‘Whatever.’
Charlotte sat up under her fringed umbrella, almost hitting her head on its wicker roof, long blonde hair escaping from its messy ponytail.
‘Did you know that it was also Noel Coward who wrote that wonderful Patsy Cline song, ‘Mad About the Boy’? About an actual boy? Or hopefully a young man.’
It was an obvious attempt to change the subject away from Tony, but Maddie played along.
‘Yeah, of course. Everyone knows that.’
‘Did you really?’
‘No… but you always were the school swot.’
Maddie’s smile showed her comment was without malice.
‘Hmmm. Not sure what good it did me.’
‘How can you say that? You’ve got your art hanging in galleries around the world; you’ve got a nice house, lovely kids, loads of friends… Andyourhusband’s still alive.’
She hadn’t meant to say those last whispered words out loud. Two drinks and no food hadn’t helped. She mustn’t get bitter and twisted. Since Tony died, it was like she’d lost whatever filter she had, and she’d never had much of one to begin with. But it was hard to sit there and listen to her friend feeling sorry for herself. Charlotte had no idea. Not that Maddie wanted her friend to know what it was like to live without her husband, but still.
‘Sorry. Just slipped out.’
Maddie was shocked to see Charlotte’s blue eyes glitter with unshed tears.
‘Things aren’t always what they seem, Mads.’
Charlotte took a deep breath and gulped back a sob. She mustn’t break down. Not this early in the holiday. Just the word husband was enough to set her off. She couldn’t let what she’d seen that night overwhelm her yet again. Just the thought of opening that door and seeing them together was enough to make her feel nauseous. Doug had betrayed her big time, there was no doubt about that, but what was she going to do about it, that was the question?
She had three precious weeks to try to work out the answer.
Maddie reached out to stroke her friend’s arm. She’d rarely seen Charlotte get emotional at the drop of a hat. Cool, calm, collected Charlotte was usually the sensible one. The giver of advice, on everything from recipes to relationships.
The three of them hadn’t seen quite as much of each other as they usually did over the past year. Although they lived in different parts of the country, their aim had always been to meet once a month in person. But the aftermath of Tony’s death and Sofia’s ridiculous workload had meant more WhatsApp group calls than meeting up. It wasn’t the same. She wasn’t going to feel guilty about it– she had more than enough guilt on her plate– but she had to admit she’d dropped the ball on both her friends’ lives recently. There was obviously something big going on in Charlotte’s life that she didn’t know about.
‘You’re right, Char. Things are never what they seem, lovely.’
Maddie really did care deeply about both these women, but her ability to deal with other people’s problems had been severely weakened since Tony’s death. She had to get out of her own head. She wasn’t the only one with problems. Charlotte deserved her help too.
‘Do you want to talk about it?’
A screen came down over her friend’s eyes before she’d even replaced her sunglasses.
