None of it is true. I’d listen to him even if he was stuck all the way down at the bottom of a well, half-concealed in darkness, staring up at a firmament of stars far from his reach.
Surprisingly, Mr. Mulligan has enough manners to turn the conversation back on me.
“And who might you be?” he inquires with an upturned nose.
I can feel my cheeks crackling with warmth—twin lavascapes. I’m halfway to stringing up a banner of my own anxiety, but I masquerade it faster than a wound gets the chance to trap heat. “I’m your son’s girlfriend.”
“Girlfriend? You don’t look like any of Knox’s previous…flings.”
Asshole.
My indignation is back with a vengeance, and I let my next set of words fly out of me without any safeguards. “Is that a problem?”
Knox’s father shrugs indifferently. “My son just has high standards, that’s all.”
“Then you’ll be relieved to know that I meetevery oneof those standards.”
His gaze casts through me like a spear through a shallow riverbank—pointed in its attack. “Judging by your…ensemble…it doesn’t look like it.”
Does this dude seriously expect me to wear a fancy dress to a hockey game?
I’m lost in my own mental slaughterhouse of shame and self-doubt when Knox comes glissading over to us on a presumed time-out, his cheeks perking up into a smile that I gravitate to like a call sign. I should be grateful for his company,but I can’t get over the sour aftertaste of his father’s unwarranted comments.
“Oh, you guys met each other already,” Knox observes, using his hockey stick to prop himself up.
Unfortunately.
Knox’s dad tightens his tie. “Son, you didn’t tell me that you were dating someone…out of our class range.”
“What?” he growls.
“I mean, is this a joke? This girl has no business being attached to the Mulligan name.”
Phosphenes fleck my vision, and silent tears sear the backs of my eyes, threatening to carve tracts down my cheeks. My heart is tangled in a gossamer web of pain, straining to break free from its tomb.
I mean, Knox’s dad is right. Knox and I exist in two different tax brackets. I know next to nothing about living a lavish lifestyle.
Rage splashes across my boyfriend’s expression. “Thisgirlhas a name. Thisgirlis my girlfriend, and I don’t remember asking for your fucking permission.”
“All this time away from home has made you irreverent. Do I need to remind you who’s in charge here? I came to your game to support you, not to be cornered. How dare you embarrass me like this.”
It was never my intention to come between Knox and his father. It feels like I’m being slammed against the aluminum floor of a rogue plane by unrelenting G-forces.
I know that physically, I’m right next to Knox, but I couldn’t feel farther away. In this instant, I’m transported back to the hospital, when Knox and I were nothing but strangers. The pneumatic hissing of machines, the algid hallways, the sterile stench of all-purpose cleaner, the constant, immutable cries that carried well into the early morning. Lying in that hospitalbed, I was a pale imitation of myself, and I fear that right now, I’m no better.
The harshness of Knox’s words toss my stomach. “Embarrass you? Are you serious? You didn’t come to my game to support me. You came to my game to save face after being absent from every aspect of my life. You came to my game because you knew people would be watching, and you just had to hog the spotlight all for yourself.”
“I won’t tolerate these unfounded accusations,” Mr. Mulligan snarls.
I need to stop this. Knox may have a crappy father, but at least he has one. I don’t want to be responsible for creating a bigger rift between them. I’m not worth it.
I’m about to sever the conversation when Knox saves me the trouble. If there wasn’t a partition between us, he would probably rip his dad’s head off.
“Staten is in my life whether you like it or not. And frankly, I never wanted you to meet her. She doesn’t need to deal with your insecurities. Your opinion doesn’t matter to me, and I’m ashamed to admit that it ever did. I can handle you giving me shit, but going after the person I care about most is unacceptable. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Unlike you, she doesn’t rely on handouts for people to like her. She’s a genuinely good person who works hard for her money, and my affection doesn’t hinge on whether or not she’ll make our family ‘look good.’ She’s been here for me while you’ve surrendered all your responsibilities. She’s selfless and kind and patient. She’s so much more than her bank account, but that’s something your small brain couldn’t possibly understand, right?”
Something akin to love rattles around in my body at hyperspeed, and for the first time in forever, I’m not quick to apologize for the space I take up. For the first time in forever, as ironic as it is, I feel like Ibelong. I never knew I could feelanything other than shame—for my upbringing, for my nonexistent contribution to society—but pride egresses from my blind spot to make a grand entrance.
“You’rethisclose to getting cut off, Knox,” his father warns with the mercy of a four-star general.
