I’m not kidding when I tell you that the funhouse looks like some undercover moniker for hell itself. The exterior is a two-story building with a large, checkered awning hanging over the entrance, bookended by two unnerving clown statues on either side. The color scheme is comprised of gaudy neons that could probably be spotted from space, naked lightbulbs are popcorned along an obnoxious trim, and flags of varying sizes have been affixed to the ridges of the roof, looking down on customers like sentinels stationed in watchtowers.
Call it destiny or coincidence, but I, Knox Mulligan, have been strumming the strings of fate to carve out this moment of uninterrupted privacy with Staten. And I have my patience to thank for outlasting life’s nuisances.
The moment we step into the building, divisions of S-shaped mirrors enclose us, warping reality as we know it, bending light and compressing our reflections as a dozen Statens populate before my very eyes.
“Why are we in here?” she pants, trying to catch her breath.
“I just wanted to go somewhere quiet with you.”
“You did?”
I lower Mr. Cuddles, hanging on to his arm and dropping him by my side. “Staten, I?—”
She situates herself in front of me, elongating that delicious length of her neck where I’ve fantasized about leaving my mark for everyone to see.
My heart palpitates. I’m a creature of habit, and right now, my instincts are telling me to fog up the glass with our bodies, sink my teeth into the soft parts of her until she’s keening from my touch alone, and splay her out like a buffet spread for hundreds of mirrors to reflect our indecency in blinding HD.
Staten interrupts me. “Knox, I—what I feel for you…it’s something I can’t make sense of. I’ve been trying to suppress it, but you keep being you and doing all these sweet things and—and I don’t know how much longer I can pretend like there’s nothing between us.”
Is this another daydream of mine that grossly mischaracterizes Staten? This can’t be real. I feel like I’ve waited forever to hearthosewords come out ofhermouth. How do I even respond to that? Do I question the authenticity and risk popping my utopic bubble?
It’s suddenly ten degrees hotter in here.
“What about Leif?” I can’t believe I’m even bringing up that dick when Staten might be confessing her feelings for me.
Her cotton candy falls to the floor—splatting against polished tile—and she brings her body close enough to mine that touching her isn’t an unrealistic facet of my dreams anymore. It’s Pavlovian the way my mouth waters to taste her kiss, the way my arms hover until they receive the green light to crush her against my chest.
“I don’t want Leif,” she enunciates, refusing to break eye contact.
I see my teaching skills have been put to good use.
She doesn’t want Leif? Did I miss a chapter? I don’t know what to think right now, and it doesn’t help that all the blood in my head is rushing for theotherhead.
Pressure coalesces at the apex of my thighs, my heart ticking so loudly that I’m afraid she can hear it in the stillness of the maze. This is the same girl who practically treated thedistance between us like it was court ordered. And I, in good faith, did the same.
“Where is this coming from?” I ask.
“I guess…I guess I’ve always sort of felt this way? I don’t know. It’s hard to come to terms with something that I never planned for. I thought Leif was my end goal, but then you, Knox, you got under my skin with your little jabs and your careful wordplay, and I didn’t want to ruin our relationship by not being truthful with you. You’ve been so patient with me, so understanding. You’ve been there for me when I needed you the most. I didn’t want you to think that I never considered the possibility of us being something more, because trust me, I did.”
“I don’t want you to think that you have to suddenly start liking me because I’ve been nice to you, Staten. You don’t owe me anything. Would I be more than ecstatic if you wanted to pursue something real? Of course I fucking would. But none of this is some debt you have to pay off.”
“I don’t think that at all. Ifeelit. Against my better judgment to protect myself from every emotion under the sun, Ifeelsomething for you. And it terrifies me. Leif is the safe option, the familiar one. You—you’re a risk that I’m willing to take, no matter how it might end. I just wish it didn’t take me so long to realize it.”
I can smell the sweetness on her breath—can imagine the winding hills of her supple curves trapped beneath my hungry fingers. “Ace, if things happen between us, I don’t think I’ll be able to control myself.”
Staten ascends on her tiptoes, brushing my nose with hers. In this single moment, the walls fly away and strand us under a moonlit sky, a chiaroscuro of shadows playing hide-and-seek amongst her heavenly bone structure.
“Then don’t.”
20
ONE GIANT LEAP FOR VIRGIN-KIND
STATEN
Iwasnotabout to get it on in a funhouse probably teeming with asbestos, which is what I told Knox. And then he, ever the problem solver, scooped me up in his arms bridal-style, shoved Mr. Cuddles intomyarms, and quite literally sprinted out of the funhouse and all the way back to the parking lot. No word to his teammates. No stopping. Surprisingly not as breathless as I thought he would be.
The drive to his place was similarly chaotic. Knee bouncing, thumbs tapping against the steering wheel, a continuous interrogation to make sure this was what I really wanted. When I said yes with no hesitation, he ran a red stoplight. We’d successfully turned a twenty-minute trip into ten, and then he was back to carrying me like I’d sprained my ankle, sans Mr. Cuddles.
