Surprising myself, I chuckle. “Itwouldmake us even.”
Sliding a throw blanket down from the back of the couch, I drape it over her, tucking her in like it’s her own personal chrysalis. She shifts around to assume the ultimate comfort position. Given her unresponsiveness, I’m about to leave when her hand shoots out to latch around my wrist.
“Can you…will you lie with me? I don’t want to be alone.” Her voice is overworked, quiet. Whether it’s because she’s embarrassed about what she said or just trying to regulate her volume, I have no idea.
Staten Renault—the girl who would do anything to keep me from wiggling myself beneath her code-protected layers—is asking me tostay.
A stammer passes the threshold of my tongue. “Uh, yeah. Of course.”
Trying not to displace her, I notch myself into the sliver of space she’s left for me, very aware that Crew and Harlan’s couch isn’t really made for two people…horizontally. I have trouble fitting onto a sofa with my height as it is.
Though, I’d be remiss if I didn’t say that my heart constricts the tiniest bit when she fits the curve of her back perfectly against my front. Being this close to her is amazing—a rush, even.
I don’t really know what to do with my arms. Does she want me to hold her? Is it presumptuous if I don’t ask her and just do it?ShouldI ask her? I don’t want to bother her. She seems pretty?—
“I can hear you thinking,” she whispers with an equal blend of annoyance and amusement.
My spine snaps straight. “Right. Sorry. I just, I’ve never…”
“Slept next to a girl before?”
“Slept next toyoubefore.”
I can feel a blush heating my cheeks—can feel the homegrown humility start to set in. Farm to table.
If I didn’t know any better, it sounds like a smile kicks up her lips. “Hmm. Didn’t realize you were that intimidated by me.”
“You kidding? Diving with sharks would be less terrifying,” I jest.
“Nice to know I’m still your superior.”
As the conversation chugs along and my mental fog recedes, I wrap my arms around her without realizing I’ve done it. And, since the night seems to be full of endless firsts, Staten doesn’t buck me off like I’m some rowdy cowboy with a death wish.Holdingher feels right.Being with herfeels right. We’ve barely skimmed the surface of our fake relationship, and already, I wouldn’t mind treading deeper.
Hopefully she can’t feel the ricocheting of my heart against her back.
“You’re not resisting,” I observe.
“Do you want me to?”
“No. I…I’ve just never seen you like this before. All vulnerable.” God, it feels as if someone has turned up the heater in this place. Maybe it’s the stupid throw blanket. How am I more delirious than she is right now?
“Trusting people isn’t really my forte,” she mumbles, and there’s a weight that tears at the edges of her words.
“I get that. I mean, I’m not caretaker savvy, but you—you rewire my entire body sometimes.”
Rewire is an understatement. I’m a completely different person around her. She isn’t dissuaded by my brain’s mess offritzing cables or my unplugged vulnerability. Staten Renault has got me hook, line, and sinker.
“I guess we’re learning a lot about each other today,” she says with, surprisingly, no disgust in her voice.
Staten flips around so she’s facing me. I thought I needed the light to admire her beauty, but she’s just as radiant in the dark.
“I can’t believe I’m admitting this, but thank you for saving me from four p.m. physics. I would probably be in a ball crying somewhere if you hadn’t found me.”
I nod. This girl has been cracked open by the world and still expected to perform. I don’t know how she does it—how she moves through life with so much grace.
“I’ll always be here if you need me,” I tell her.
“Is that a stipulation of our agreement?”
