I nodded. What else could I do? If Alex didn’t want to stay, I certainly couldn’t make him. All I could do was try to protect my heart because it was already breaking at the thought of having to let him go.
Alex
I banged my head against the headrest of the truck once, then twice, trying to either knock some sense in or knock some bullshit out. Either way, I’d be better off than where I’d been earlier that afternoon. When I’d shut Zina down and bailed on her. At least they’d found the bird while I was at the hospital. One bright spot in an otherwise dark string of events.
Gramps cleared his throat in the passenger seat. “You okay over there?”
“Yeah.” I let my frustration seep out on a long sigh and tried to gloss over any emotion. “You sure you don’t like it here? That one bedroom seems like a perfect option.” Plenty of natural light, no steps to contend with. A walking path right outside the front door.
“I told you, I’m going home.”
“Gramps, it doesn’t work like that. If Char and I don’t think you’ll be able to take care of yourself, we can’t let you move back to the ranch on your own.”
“I’m not asking for permission.”
I groaned. Great, that’s all I needed. I’d come home with the intention of helping Char. Now I was going to leave her with an even bigger mess on her hands. “What makes you think you’re well enough to live in the middle of nowhere on your own?”
“I won’t be on my own.”
“Really? You planning on renting out a room to someone I don’t know about?”
“I talked to Zina. I’m going to adopt Herbie.”
“Herbie the pit bull?” I studied my grandfather’s profile. The older man seemed calm, not pissed off like he’d been when I first came back to town. “Zina said that was okay?”
“She said as long as he had a home to go to, I could take him. Water’s Edge won’t let me bring a dog, so I don’t have a choice but to go to the ranch. I don’t know why you think you have a say anyway. It’s my life. I can do what I want with it.”
“It doesn’t work like that, Gramps.”
“Why not? I’ve been talking to her brother, too. Zeb said he’d like being out in the country, so I’m going to see if he wants a place to live rent-free. I don’t see you asking me for permission to do anything. That’s how you live your life.”
I opened my mouth to fire off a quick response. But dammit, Gramps was right. I’d done the same damn thing. All the years I stayed away, I’d been putting my own needs first.
“Hell, by the time I was your age I had a wife, a stable nine-to-five, and two kids to feed. Don’t try to talk to me about my choices.”
“I’m not. You made choices. You saddled yourself with a wife and kids before you had a chance to have fun. Dad did the same thing. Then his life blew up in front of his face, and he didn’t have time to do all the things he put off while he raised a family.”
“You talked to your dad about this?” Gramps asked. His salt-and-pepper eyebrows knit together.
“Just once.”
“And that’s what your dad told you? That he wished he’d made different choices?”
“No, of course not. He told me what he thought I wanted to hear. That Char and I were the most important things in the world to him. That even if he had it all to do over again, he’d have done the same thing.” I glanced over at my grandfather. My father’s eyes looked back at me. Why hadn’t I inherited the same eyes as my dad and my gramps? It was spooky how similar mydad looked to Gramps. So similar that at times I almost mistook the older man for my father.
“He told you that because it’s true.” Gramps’s gaze drilled into mine.
I looked away first.
“You listen to me and listen good,” Gramps warned. “Your dad loved you and Charlene more than anything. It’s true he had different plans, plans that didn’t involve marrying your mama and becoming a dad at such a young age. But he wouldn’t have changed a thing. Y’all were the most important people in the world to him.”
I blinked back the threat of any emotion forcing its way through. “You don’t think he would have been happier if he hadn’t gotten bogged down with a wife and a baby right out of high school?”
“No,” Gramps said. He meant it, too. I could tell by the way he held my gaze. Nothing but truth shone through those blue eyes.
“You think I should stay here then. Help out with Char and the girls?”
Gramps laid a weathered hand over mine. “No, son. But I think you need to take a long look at what you want out of life. Because right now I think you’re just trying to run away from your daddy’s past mistakes.”
