“What’s wrong, dear?” Morty peered up at me, his eyes extra round through the thick lenses of his glasses.
I slid my phone out of my pocket to see an incoming text from Alex. Hope that he’d left to run an errand filled my heart. It was all a misunderstanding. He was probably driving one of the servers home or chasing down a dog that accidentally got loose.
But as I read the first few words, my heart stopped beating. I reached for the handrail of the steps to steady myself.
Alex: I’m at the airport. I decided to take the job with Munyon. I thought I could settle in, but I just can’t. I’m sorry.
CHAPTER 33
ALEX
I waitedto see if Zina would respond. It would serve me right if she never spoke to me again. I felt awful about walking out, but I couldn’t help it. All the plans, the commitments, the pressure to do what everyone else thought I should had piled up on me until I couldn’t take it anymore. Walking away had been one of the hardest things I’d ever done, but I didn’t have a choice.
At least that’s what I kept telling myself as I stood in front of the departure board at Houston’s international airport. The vise around my heart tightened as I searched for the gate for my departure. My usual MO when I got overwhelmed or it seemed like someone was backing me into a corner was to get the hell out as fast as possible. Why wasn’t it working this time?
Once I got where I was going, far away from the epicenter of it all, I was sure I’d feel better. With a resigned shrug, I made my way to the gate area, ready to take off on a new adventure and clear my head and hopefully my heart.
Snagging a last-minute ticket on a relatively full flight put me in a middle seat between an older man and a woman who seemed to be a few years younger than me. I wished I’d had enough time to make arrangements for an emergency exit row. With my long legs, the idea of spending the next couple of hourssqueezed into a middle seat almost made me reconsider. But the alternative of postponing and waiting for a later flight was even less appealing, so I stowed my backpack in the overhead compartment and sat down.
“You going all the way to the Caymans?” the older man asked.
I nodded, hoping my silence might deter the man from further conversation. It didn’t.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve been back.”
“Oh yeah? That’s nice.” I plumped the pillow that had been sitting on my seat and tried to get comfortable.
“Last time I was there I got married.”
“Mmm.” The thought of engaging in conversation all the way until we made the stop in Miami made my stomach clench. Surely the guy would get the hint.
“She died last year.”
The woman on my left leaned over. “I’m so sorry. How long were you together?”
“Forty-three years. Never saw it coming but it was the most impulsive, best decision I’ve ever made. I’m heading back to spread her ashes.”
“I’m sorry for your loss.” The woman reached past me and patted the man on the arm. Then she glared at me, an expectant look on her face.
“I’m sorry, too.” The whole reason I left Ido was to outrun my emotions. I couldn’t provide a shoulder for the guy next to me to cry on all the way to the Caymans. Maybe I could switch seats. There had to be an aisle or window seat open somewhere. I sat up straighter and craned my neck to look for an opening.
“You ever been married?” the man asked me.
“What, me? No. Hard no to that.” I lowered myself back into my seat. There weren’t any openings in the surrounding rows, and the flight attendant was about to close the aircraft door.Looked like I was stuck. At least for the next two and a half hours. I vowed to check in at the ticket counter when we landed in Miami and see if I could get a row to myself on the next leg.
“That’s too bad. You’re still young though. You’ve got plenty of time.”
“Oh, I’m not the marrying kind.” I didn’t mean to speak up; I actually preferred not to engage in conversation if the guy wanted to talk about commitment.
“I didn’t think I was, either. Funny what meeting the right person will do to long-held beliefs.”
I nodded as I slid my earbuds in place. If the guy couldn’t take a subtle hint, maybe he’d get a more direct message. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the playlist I’d created a couple of years ago. A little heavy metal usually got me psyched up for my next trip. But for some reason, after playing the eighty-four-minute list of tracks all the way through twice, I still hadn’t lost that nagging feeling in my gut that I was doing the wrong thing.
I ran through the events that led up to my departure. Spending time with Zina had been amazing. A vision of her snuggling one of the tiny rescue pups drifted through my mind. Then what happened later when we’d finally stopped arguing and decided to give in to the attraction between us and take a chance on each other. She gave so freely of herself. And the whole time I’d had one foot halfway out the door. I didn’t deserve her trust. She was better off without me. She’d be pissed as hell for a while, but she’d realize it was for the best. I’d always been up front with her that I wasn’t a man who liked to stay put.
Someone tapped me on the shoulder. I cracked an eyelid to see the older man next to me signaling for me to take my earbuds out. “Last call for snacks. Figured a young guy like you might not want to miss out.”
“Thanks.” I tucked my earbuds into the case and lowered my tray. I hadn’t eaten a thing since I’d snagged a quick snack beforethe wedding. Zina had brought me a made-from-scratch muffin she’d picked up on a run into town the day before. She said she wanted to make sure I got through the ceremony on a full stomach.
