I might have wanted to feel him come inside me, but it was a fantasy that stayed locked in my filthy little mind.
So how?
How did this happen?
My stomach rolls. It’s been the same since I realized my period was late. It’s not unusual, but once a few more days passed and nothing happened, I got suspicious.
It was one time.
One time with protection. Double protection.
And yet, here I am.
Up shit creek without a fucking paddle.
I continue staring blindly at Sienna’s message.
I need to reply to say yes, get my ass out of bed, and go to work.
Right now, my business and the women I work with are the best things in my life.
They’re what make me get up in the morning; they push me forward and force me to see that there will be light at the end of the tunnel.
I was almost there. I could almost see the brightness. The good times were almost within touching distance. And now…another curveball.
Bea: Yeah, I’m feeling much better. I’ll be in as planned. Thank you for holding down the fort yesterday.
Sienna: Anytime, you know that. Do you need anything?
“Fuck,” I gasp, letting my arms fall to the bed.
A miracle. That’s what I need. A miracle and a lottery win. Neither of which is going to happen because a, I don’t believe in miracles and b, I don’t play the lottery.
So basically, I’m fucked.
Bea: No, I’m good, thank you. See you soon x
With a groan, I throw the sheets off and climb out of bed.
I make it halfway across my room before I stop and take a step back until I’m standing in front of my full-length mirror.
I let my eyes drop down my body until they linger on my stomach. It’s not flat by any stretch of the imagination. I love food and hate the gym too much to ever have abs. But it’s okay, all things considered.
My hand lifts, my fingers splaying over my tank as I try to imagine what I might look like in a few months from now if I continue with this pregnancy.
My heart lurches.
There is no if.
I am continuing with this pregnancy.
It’s going to be hard. Really fucking hard. And I’m sure there are going to be many, many days—and nights—when I’m going to question my decision. But ultimately, it’s my decision.
There are so many unknowns about this situation, but the one thing I do know is that I will love this little baby with everything I am. I will do everything I can to ensure it has the best life possible.
I’m not entirely sure right at this moment what that life will look like, but it will have a life.
My thoughts briefly flicker to Everett, but I squash them as fast as they arrive.
