“Nah, I was too busy trying to fight off your gigantic ego.”
A laugh bursts out of me. “I hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but it hasn’t gotten any smaller.”
“Don’t I know it,” she deadpans. “I’ve just learned how to ignore it.”
“Charming,” I chuckle before my thoughts take a sobering turn. “I can’t believe our summer is almost over.”
“I know,” she says sadly, her eyes turning glassy. “It’s gone so fast. I’m going to miss you when you’re on the road.”
“You’re telling me.” My hands slide to her stomach. There really is no hiding this bump now. The world knows that we’ll be welcoming Baby Donnelly in the new year. And, of course, there are plenty of people online with an opinion. But we’re slowlygetting better at blocking out all that noise. All that matters is the three of us. We know the story of how we came to be, and we know how we feel. That is all that matters. “I’m going to miss so much.”
“I’m going to be bigger every time you return.” She sounds horrified by the idea, but in contrast, I’m excited. Knowing that I’m going to get to see how much our little one, and in turn, Bea, has grown is just one of the many reasons I’ll be excited to return home after a series of away games.
“You just keep telling that little one that he’s not allowed to arrive on his due date,” I remind her.
It’s right in the middle of a road series, and the same day as a game in Boston.
The thought of not being there and leaving her to deliver our baby alone is already giving me so much anxiety, and we’re still months away.
I just…I want to follow through on my promise to always be there for her and our baby, and I hate the thought of falling at the first hurdle.
More than a few times, I’ve woken up in a cold sweat. The images of me running through an airport on the other side of the country as she’s here alone and in pain are so clear that even standing here now, they make my heart rate increase.
“Everything will be fine,” she assures me, her small hand cupping my jaw. “You’ve already got Sienna, Casey, Freya, and Hailee on call, and ready. If the worst happens, I’ll be surrounded by the fiercest of women who will cheer me on all the way.”
I drop my forehead to hers, my eyes holding hers hostage.
“I just want to be there.”
“You will. You’ll be right by my side.”
I nod, wishing there was a way to make it happen.
As we stand there locked together, swaying to the music, surrounded by other couples celebrating, three little words that I’ve been fighting for quite some time now dance on the tip of my tongue. I never meant to hold them back; I guess I was just scared that I was the only one feeling things this deeply, this terrifying. I know it’s bullshit. I can see how Bea feels every time she looks at me. Every time she touches me. I was just being a pussy.
But then I had an idea, and suddenly, everything flipped on its head, and it’s taken every ounce of self-control I possess to keep the words inside.
Pulling back, I slip my hand into hers. “Come for a walk with me?” I whisper.
“A walk? Now?”
I glance over my shoulder at the darkness outside.
“Yep. Right now.”
“O-okay,” she says, confused but willing to humor me.
My steps falter as we step off the dance floor, and my eyes land on the table our group commandeered earlier.
Only one person sits there now, and he looks like he has the entire weight of the world on his shoulders.
“I’m so glad he managed to come, but?—”
“I know,” Bea agrees. “I wish there were more I could do to help.”
“Me too.”
I look over as someone makes their way over, and I find Hailee with two drinks in her hands. She lowers one in front of Monroe, but if he notices, then he doesn’t look up or acknowledge her in any way. As annoying as our overexcitable rookie can be, seeing him like this is just wrong. I’d give anything to watch him bounce across the room as if it’s the best day of his life, instead of struggling because he’s just experienced his worst.
