His voice echoes louder than it should in the stillness of my apartment, and something cracks.
“I’m pregnant.”
The words tear out of me so fast, I don’t even realize I’ve said them until they’re already out of my mouth.
Reid is silent, and it’s the only sound louder than the ringing in my ears. He fully stops and freezes in time. His arms fall slack at his sides, and his lips part like he’s about to say something, but nothing comes out.
I fold in on myself without meaning to, backing a step down the hallway, suddenly desperate to get away from the depth of his blue eyes. From the stillness. From what might come next.
He doesn’t chase me, but he doesn’t leave either. He just stands there, breathing and watching as I move backward until I grip the doorknob to my bedroom.
“I’m not asking you for anything,” I whisper. “I’m not trying t-to trap you, or… or fuck up your life.”
His voice is quiet when it comes. “You’re…?”
I shakily nod. “I haven’t been with anyone else, so…”
The echo of my announcement lingers between us, and I stare at him.
“I didn’t—” My voice breaks. “I didn’t plan for this.”
His brows pull together, like maybe he’s thinking through a thousand things at once and trying not to let any of them show.
I don’t know what I expected. Anger? Disbelief? Cold detachment? But not this. Not the quiet weight of his eyes on me like he’s seeing the whole shape of me for the first time. I need him to say something,anything, to let me know what he’s thinking.
“Carina.”
My name, soft and slow and sofuckinggentle.
“I didn’t know how to tell you,” I admit. “I didn’t even want to acknowledge it. I told myself it was just stress and I was exhausted, and emotional, and off-balance because I’ve been pushing too hard—because that’s easier than saying I missed a pill and changed everything without meaning to.”
He takes a single step toward me, and I step back.
“Don’t,” I say, voice catching. “Please, don’t—”
He stops, but his voice softens even further.
“Carina…”
“I can’t do this,” I whisper. “I can’t drag you into a decision I haven’t even made yet. And I won’t let you feel obligated. You’ve worked your whole life for this season. This is yourcareer.I won’t be the reason any of that changes, Reid.”
The words come fast, crumbling around the edges as he tries to take another step toward me, and I keep babbling.
“Carina. Baby…”
“I’m not… I—I don’t know what I’m doing. And if you try to say something kind right now, I’m going to fall apart, and Ican’t—” My voice cracks, and I pause.“I can’t fall apart, Reid. I have to stay focused, or I’ll lose the whole thread.”
His eyes are too gentle, studying my face and patiently waiting for me to finish. I shake my head and disappear into my bedroom, clicking the door shut before I say something I can’t take back, willing the burn in my eyes to stop.
I sit on the edge of the bed with shaking hands and try to breathe through the storm inside my chest. And even though I wanted him to stay where he was and not come closer, part of me aches with the fact that he listened.
He doesn’t follow, doesn’t barge in.
But he hasn’t left, either.
Chapter seventeen
I hope she lets me keep her
