“He’s just a kid,” Carina continues, voice barely steady. “He shouldn’t be asking me that. He shouldn’t be thinking about it at all.”
I stay where I am, frozen in the hallway. Her voice breaks, and in that moment, I realize, with a deep, unyielding certainty,that I’ll do whatever it takes to never hear her sound this broken again.
“He smiles at me every time I come in,” she says. “Like he thinks I can fix it. And I can’t promise him anything.”
Heidi murmurs something I can’t hear, and Carina exhales. She sounds tired. Uncertain. Nothing like the surgeon who told me not to be an asshole while shaving my leg. Nothing like the capable surgeon who cut into my knee with precision and steadiness.
This is something really fucking heavy, and I hate how she seems to be carrying it alone. That she’s not getting what she needs to make this work for a kid in need.
I knock before I can overthink it, and the voices cut off.
There’s another murmur and a rustle, then a moment later, Heidi opens the door. Carina looks startled when she sees me, quickly turning to a filing cabinet and wiping at her cheeks, before turning back, her expression schooled back into place.
That pisses me off, though I understand it.
“Reid,” Heidi says. “Sorry, did you need something else?”
My eyes snap to Carina’s for a moment and take in her flushed cheeks before coming back to Heidi’s.
“Left my keys,” I say, gesturing to where they sit on her desk.
“Oh. Sure, come in.” She steps aside, and I move to grab them, but don’t leave. Instead, I turn slowly toward them both.
“I, uh… overheard a bit,” I admit. “Didn’t mean to.”
A careful silence stretches. I assume this has patient confidentiality written all over it. Carina’s shoulders stay squared, but her eyes are still shimmery.
“Sorry,” I begin. “I shouldn’t have—”
“It’s fine,” she says quickly. Then quietly adds, “It’s not fine, but… it’s fine.”
I shift my weight, knee aching in a way I welcome.
“No, it’s not fine.”
She blinks. “Reid—”
“I can come to your gala.”
She freezes, and Heidi’s head snaps to meet Carina’s eyes.
“I mean it,” I say, before I can talk myself out of it. “I’ll go to the gala. Hell, you can auction me off if you want, whatever you need. Media shit, smiling for pictures. You said it needs more names? I can bring a couple guys.”
Heidi’s eyebrows go up.
Carina’s mouth opens, then shuts. “You don’t have to d—”
“I want to.”
It comes out gruff, but it’s honest.
She studies me for a long moment. “You’re recovering. You shouldn’t put pressure on yourself.”
“I’ll be sitting down, Doc. I think I can manage that.”
A flicker of something crosses her face. Relief, gratitude. Hope. Or maybe that’s just me hoping I’ve somehow eased some of her panic. Some of her pain.
“Okay,” she says quietly. “Thank you so much.”
