“A girl.”
“Yeah,” Carina whispers. She looks up at me now, eyes wide and wet and searching. “You okay?”
I don’t answer at first, I can’t. I’m watching the screen again, where our daughter’s curled up inside her, sucking one tiny thumb.
I think of the succulents in Carina’s window. A rainbow in the sky. The beehives and ivy. Carina on the couch, telling me she wants this. Carina on my lawn, telling me she loves me.
My hands shake.
“I’m gonna be a girl dad,” I say quietly. “Two girls… All mine.”
Carina squeezes my hand with a breath of laughter, but her voice is barely audible. “All yours.”
I shake my head, eyes still fixed to the screen, to the heartbeat, to the flicker of movement that’s her—our daughter.
“Fuck,” I breathe. “I hope I don’t screw it up.”
“You won’t.” Her fingers slide from mine and rest on my thigh instead, anchoring me. “She’s already so loved.”
I don’t say it, but I feel it in every cell.
So are you.
***
We end up on my couch.
Carina’s tucked against my side, feet pulled beneath her, my arm around her shoulders. One of the blankets from the living room basket is draped over her legs, and her hand is resting on the curve of her belly.
Gremlin jumps up beside her and curls right against her hip, making biscuits with her paws.
“God.” I shake my head. “She’s obsessed with you.”
Carina hums, eyes closed. “She’s clearly got excellent taste.”
“Debatable.”
That earns me a lazy smack to the chest.
We sit in the quiet for a while as the late sun spills through the windows, and Gremlin purrs. My hand rests along the top of Carina’s arm, thumb tracing the seam of her sleeve.
Eventually, she speaks.
“She’s gonna be stubborn.”
I huff a soft laugh. “No shit.”
“She’s going to try and do everything on her own.”
“So long as she knows she’s always got back up.”
There’s a pause, and I feel her sink into me deeper, exhaling hard.
“She’ll pretend she’s not scared even when she is.”
I let my fingers trace up over her shoulder to jaw, then tilt her chin up to me.
“She’s allowed to be.”
