25
Tremors rackme as I try to make sense of what’s happening. Too many hands roam, pawing, groping, and bruising my skin. I can’t survive another second of this torture. They. Are. Everywhere.
My boneless body is draped over Paulie’s torso, refusing to comply when I beg myself to fight. To run. But I can’t. He penetrates a sacred space he has no right to claim. Whatever they slipped into my drink has me at their mercy. I’m stuck in hell and the devil and his disciples are wreaking havoc. I gasp for air, but I’m strangled by hands gripping my neck and holding me in place.Stop. Please. Don’t.
My skin crawls as someone else cages me in from behind before spreading my ass cheeks wide. “Do you know how long I’ve wanted this, Noah? Now, be a good whore and give your husband what he wants.” Venomdrips from his gruff command. “After all, it is our wedding night.”
The fight in me is muted, and my limbs refuse to obey. Instead, I am forced to endure being ripped apart as he demands access. A scream blasts from my mouth. I’m blinded by the tortuous pain that sears through my veins.Somebody help. Get them off me.
Bradley grips my hair in his fist and drags my head back. “Open wide for Marcus, Noah.” I’m silenced when the man in question shoves his penis between my lips, forcing tears to well in my eyes as I gag.Why can’t I stop them? Why can’t I move?My cries are muffled as my body is invaded. “Look at how well you take our cocks. In every single hole. You’re so full of us, Noah.”
I jolt upright, scrambling for a breath as I tear myself from a disturbed reality I can’t escape. My eyes fly open as the SUV bumps over a pothole. During the assault, I’d only been half conscious. At first, I couldn’t comprehend what was happening to me at the hands of evil, but every time I close my eyes, I’m haunted by the memories mangling my mind.
I battle to keep the bile down as acid scalds my esophagus. Rhett’s presence next to me is the only thing keeping me from imploding.
“Another memory?” Rhett prompts.
“Yeah.” I pause, stealing a glance in his direction. His eyes are trained on the road, knuckles white on thesteering wheel, jaw pulsing with tension. “Unfortunately.” He has questions, but I appreciate that he hasn’t pushed too much. In true Rhett fashion, he’s allowing me to come to him when I’m ready. Eventually, I hope I will be. “Thank you for being patient with me.”
“Always.”
Our fifteen-hour drive has allowed me to patchwork together the sequence of horrors from last night. Every time I’ve dozed off along our journey, they’ve replayed on a loop, never allowing me to escape. Logically I know I’m no longer in that hotel room, no longer being subjected to their torment, but can a person ever feel safe when they have to live with hideous reminders when they close their eyes?
With the sun finishing its descent below the horizon line, I curl into a ball as we pass the welcome sign announcing our arrival in Black River. The relief that courses through me has tears leaving salty tracks as they flow down my cheeks. I’m afraid they won’t ever stop. My head pounds in an unsteady rhythm, my heart aching to rewind time. But I can’t. My mistakes will forever be a pattern woven into the fabric of my being.
Rubbing a hand over my battered and bruised face, I sigh, both physically and mentally exhausted. Home is where I need to be. I’m thankful that Rhett whisked me from California first thing this morning. There’s simply no way I could have faced the nosywedding guests, and I wouldn’t have been in any shape to answer questions either. I’m still not. Better to make a quiet escape and deal with everything later. No doubt there will be backlash to deal with from my swift departure, but I can’t with any of that right now. I’m already stressed enough about facing everyone I love and telling them the truth I’ve spent years hiding.
My eyes flutter shut, recalling the shocked expressions on Sage’s and Kade’s faces as I lay broken in Rhett’s arms. I’d been too out of it to feel embarrassed then—not to mention dealing with the raw emotion and trauma—but now, shame and humiliation hit me in alternating waves. They shouldn’t have seen me like that. All of the little white lies that I told them turned into a black hole impossible to dig myself out of.
In a trance, I stare out the window, watching the last traces of light before it’s snuffed out completely.
“You okay?” Rhett grits out, husky and low. He’s watching me, I’m aware he’s worried, but don’t have a clue how to answer that question. Instead, I focus on some distant point in the Idaho night sky, grateful to be far, far away from LA and my nightmare of a husband. The truth of how I’m doing is written all over my face, so I don’t answer.
All those years ago, after the first time Bradley showed me who hereallywas, why didn’t I fight harderto leave the label? Why did I think I’d be able to handle him?
Peering from the corner of my vision, I study Rhett by the glow of the car’s instrument panel. His expression is stoic, and he keeps one eye on the road and the other on me. As I watch, he releases the wheel and rests his arm on the center console. Flipping his palm over, he hesitates as he grits out, “Can I hold your hand?”
Craving the security he provides, I interlock our fingers. He squeezes gently, like he has a million times before, thumb caressing the back of my hand, like he’s trying to reassure himself I’m still here. Still whole.
“I’m safe now.” Pressing my lips together, I sneak a look at his profile. His face is etched with strain and worry, the set of his mouth grim. The vein in his neck throbs. He’s holding his composure well, but I can tell by the deep furrow of his brow—he blames himself.
Sifting through all the details of what he must have seen when he broke into my hotel room, my chest tightens unbearably. My breath becomes choppy as I gasp for air. I didn’t see his initial reaction when he found me. Thank fuck for small favors.
“Almost there,” he grits out through clenched teeth.
On a careful exhale, I nod. We’ve turned down the long lane that leads to both Lilac Meadows and Black River Ranch. Across the console, an audible sigh leaves Rhett. “I understand you’re going through it, Noah,” hemurmurs softly, “but promise me—when you’re ready—you’ll talk to me.”
I dampen my lips. “I will.” Hesitating, the words get clogged in my throat. “But not tonight.”
“I’ll be here.”
We reach the Rivers family farmhouse a moment later. Outside on the porch, a lone figure sits on one of the rocking chairs.Grandma Jo.She raises her hand in welcome as she stands, picking up two duffels before coming down the steps.
My brows draw together. Their flight must have landed earlier today.
“I just need to grab a few things.” Rhett rolls down the window as Jo approaches the driver’s side.
“How you doin’, baby doll?” From the look on her face, I know she’s not really expecting a response. Her gaze drifts to her grandson. “I just packed some essentials for both of you. You can swing by tomorrow for anything else you might need.”
