The look of disapproval from my younger brother twists inside my gut. “Fuck off, Kade,” I grumble, my head thumping like it’s caught beneath a cattle stampede. As if I needed a reminder that I’ve been drinking. As if I’m unaware that I’m more like our father than either of us has ever willingly discussed. As if I don’t die a little inside wondering if I’ll slip into addiction like he did… and have to dig myself outta that hole.
“Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me she didn’t crawl into that decaying heart of yours and kick-start it the minute you heard that pretty voice of hers and I’ll fuck off now, like you’re hoping I will.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”He does.
His jaw twitches. “The hell I don’t. If there’s one thing I’m well-versed in, it’s what my big brother looks like on the drug called Noah… and the spiral he goes down when he’s overdosed. She’s put you on your ass.”
“Fuck you very much,” I grit out. I don’t want to talk about her. My heart fuckingachesat the mere mention of her name.
“Fine. Stew in all your regrets a few more days. Or, hell, keep it all locked up inside.” He hesitates a beat, but then rushes on, boring dark eyes into my lighter ones. “It’s no goddamn way to live, Rhett.” He shrugs when I give him a tight-lipped glare. “You know what? Fine. But you’re gonna have to at least pull yourself together long enough to give Sage and me a hand with the animals.”
Fuck.Running a hand over the beard coming in thick on my chin, I wince. I’ve neglected a lot of things the last couple of days like being present at Lilac Meadows. Feel like shit about it, too, because I promised Sage I’d be there to help her now that she’s running the place on her own. Unfit to be around, I’ve all but sequestered myself here. The truth is, knowing Noah is supposed to be staying with Sage, it’d just be further torture to venture over there. I’m already having a tough enough time with the harsh reminder of what my future looked like once upon a time.
Kade heaves out a breath. “Ten got out of the pasture again, trying to get at my stallion.”
Sage is the proud owner of several spirited mares, and when they’re in heat, they’re a damn handful—especially when Kade rides over on Casper. My brow arches as I groan, slowly climbing to my feet. “She okay?”
“No. Her leg’s a mess. I’ve got the fence temporarily fixed, but Sage is worried the new ranch hand can’thandle it. Too fucking green to deal with anything other than mucking stalls, really.”
I gesture with a shooing motion. “Go tell Sage I’m comin’ to have a look.” Maybe caring for the animals will do something to calm me.
With that, Kade gives me a curt nod and replaces his hat before ducking back out. His heavy footsteps echo on the wood planks of the porch until the slam of his truck door and the roar of the engine tell me he’s gone.
Not long after, I haul my grumpy ass out to my truck. The entire trip from the mountainside, I try to put Noah out of my head. I’ve never failed quite so hard at anything in my fucking life.
By the time I pass the farmhouse and reach the main road, I’m in a state. I want to fucking be assured Noah felt every word I said to her. Fuck. It’d help if she’d just go back to her manager fiancé and leave me to pick up the pieces that she walked back in and knocked over. Exhaling through my nose, I hang a right onto the lane for Lilac Meadows. My eyes flick to the windows of the house, looking for signs of her, like a poor lost fucking puppy. Jesus Christ. I can’t stop.
Irritation fills me, and I slam on the brakes. The truck is hardly in park when I bail from the cab. Sucking in a breath, I hold it, scanning as far as I can see. Kade’s bent over trying to wrangle some barbed wire while the new ranch hand is doing fuck-all to help.
Thankfully, the woman who glided so effortlessly back into my life is nowhere in sight… and nor is there any sign of an expensive vehicle that would scream Noah Lane, country music’s superstar and newest sweetheart.
Thirty minutes later, I hurry from the stable. It hadn’t taken long to care for the traumatized horse’s injury, but I’d stayed a few extra minutes, to reassure her, petting her velvety nose and stroking her neck. I’d hoped to let the soft chuffs and snorts from her soothe my soul. It hadn’t worked. Not really.
I head back to my truck, yanking the door open in search of the flask I brought. I’m on edge being here. And clearly not ready to be completely sober yet.
The door at the side of the house bangs open behind me a moment later, and I spin on my heel to see Sage burst through the doorway, slinging a bag over her shoulder. She pauses at the bottom of the steps, a cautious smile working its way to her face. “Hey, Rhett. I wasn’t sure if you’d been by yet.”
The idea that Sage must know exactly where Noah is, how she handled the fallout of Friday night, and how she’sbeen since then takes hold and doesn’t let go. Involuntarily, my fingers curl tightly around the flask. I’d like to unscrew the cap and drown every thought in my fucking head.
“I saw to Ten. She’s okay, but I’ll come back in the morning.” I arch a brow, then can’t stop myself from looking back at the house in search of the next hit to my heart.
Sage’s eyes travel my face. “Okay. Thanks for that.” She pauses, and I can totally tell she’s got something on her mind.
“Whatever it is, lay it on me.”
Her face screws up, her nose wrinkling. “How do you always know?”
I shrug, wondering if this has to do with Noah and why she’s not with Sage.
Pressing her lips together, she finally lets loose a long sigh. “I was wondering if you’d be willing to have a look at the books with me sometime this week. You know better than I do the ins and outs of what’s been going on around here. After the whole Samuel shitshow, I decided to look a little more in depth.” She presses her lips together. “Something’s not adding up, Rhett. That slimeball as much as admitted that he’d been selling off cattle under my father’s nose. He was pocketing the money—” She grimaces, continuing, “But there are still a few things that don’t make sense to me. I’ve gotta bemissing something.” Her eyes plead for help, or maybe understanding.
She’s not wrong. I do probably know more about the day-to-day running of this ranch than she does. Removing my hat, I nod. “Yeah, sure. I could do it now, if you want.”
“Oh.” She clenches her teeth, a wash of color spreading over her cheeks. “I can’t.”
Our eyes connect for a second, but it’s clear she’s keeping something from me by the way her gaze immediately pulls away. “Where’re you off to, Sage?”
Pausing, she looks mildly uncomfortable, then draws in a deep breath and catches her lip between her teeth. “I’m meeting Noah at the dress shop in town. She decided to stay with her parents.”
