Sitting back, I sigh happily. “We went about an hour or so south to a house on a lake. It was small, but the view was immaculate. And there was a little town I’ve never heard of just a few minutes away. That’s where we ate a few times, had groceries delivered from there, and did some shopping. It was just an amazing time.”
“You sound happy, Auddie.”
“Consider this verbal cartwheel emojis,” I say, laughing.
“Have you talked to Gianna?”
“No.” I sigh. “I love her, but she’s a bloodhound. I probably had sex in ten different positions over the last few days. She’ll somehow sense it and make me relive every tiny detail—which I’m not averse to doing—but I just need to decompress for a minute first.”
“Understandable.”
I type out a response to the first student’s email and hit send.
It’s only now that I’m alone and in a place I’m familiar with that I can truly process my time with Brooks. Surprisingly, it’s not the words he used with me, or the ways he fucked me all over that house that sit atop the things that come to mind from our trip.
What stands out most is how alive I feel.
Things feel softer, smoother, sharper. The air smells crisper and stronger than it did before I left. Sounds, even the silence, are louder than they were before, and the cabin is even more welcoming.
Best of all?Idid it. I didn’t stay complacent and accept the drudgery of my days as they were. I became the main character of my life again, and I’m proud of that.
“When are you coming home?” Astrid asks. “Do you know? If not, it’s fine. I’m just curious when we’ll see each other again.”
“I have to fly to Boston on Saturday.”
“Why?”
“Dad’s birthday.” I start to tell her about Drew and Brooks but stop before I can spill the beans—beans she might already know. “It’s a whole … thing.”
“Is everything okay?”
Astrid asks the question with the gentleness of someone who understands how complicated my relationship with my parents can be.She’s served as my sounding board more times than I can count. If I ever need to rob a bank or get out of a speeding ticket, I’ll call Gianna. For anything logical, I’m calling Astrid.
“Can I rain check this conversation?” I ask. “I just don’t want to get into the weeds about it right now.”
“Of course.”
A call beeps in, and I see Drew’s name on the screen. My stomach sours.
“Astrid, Drew’s calling, and we’re sort of in the middle of something,” I say, leaving it at that. “Can I call you later?”
“Sure thing. Love you. And I am so proud of you, my little badass friend.”
I smile. “Thanks. I love you, too.” I wait for her call to end before I accept Drew’s. “Hey.”
“Hey, Aud.”
There’s no tell in his tone, no hint as to how this conversation will go. I’m still shocked that our last chat went so horribly wrong. Maybe he was just stressed, and he’s calling to apologize.
“How are you?” I ask, playing it neutral.
“Okay. Been better, been worse. Never been busier though.” He chuckles. “I’m so damn busy that I started keeping a calendar.”
I laugh. “Well, that’s saying something because I never dreamed you, of all people, would keep a calendar like a dork.”
“Easy, easy.” He sighs as the tension between us begins to relax. “What day are you flying home?”
I sit back in my seat, clicking open another student email. Drew’s question sounds harmless, a typical question you might ask a family member, but it’s not. He’s fishing for information and trying to be sly about it.
