Wishing he had stayed home instead of going into work, I grabbed my phone off the kitchen counter and opened my Gmail.
To:Max
From: Kari
Re: Buenos Dias
Getting ready to run to my house and pick up a few more things. Just wanted to tell you that I miss you andpacking and carrying all of those heavy boxes won’t be nearly as fun without getting to watch your muscles while I do it. :( I’m probably going to need a full-body rub down when you get home. Just saying.
I waiteda minute to see if he’d respond and he did.
To:Kari
From: Max
Re: Sounds like a buenos noches, too.
Maybe we make it a buenos...well, I don’t know how to say weekend in Spanish. I was talking to Cane this morning and told him I’d like to take you to his cabin in Payson. We can relax, fish, maybe do a little horseback riding? Sound fun? Oh—just pack the boxes. I’ll move them, sweetheart.
Horseback riding?Who does he think I am?
To:Max
From: Kari
Re: This is me you’re talking to...
And I’m not a country person. I’m all about the relaxing part, but you lost me at fishing. And the only thing I’m going to be riding is you. ;)
Within seconds a response came.
To:Kari
From: Max
Re: This is me you’re gonna be riding...
Sweetheart, I have a shit ton of things to do today and I can’t concentrate when I’m thinking about you on my cock. You’ve simultaneously ruined me and energized me, you little troublemaker.
I laughedand closed my email. I grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator, noticing a new sticky note from Max stuck to the front.
Permanent = lasting or intended to last or remain unchanged indefinitely
I grabbed the Sharpie out of the drawer next to the refrigerator and peeled off a new sticky. I stuck it next to his and wrote:
Unsure = not feeling or done with confidence
I grabbed my things and jumped in the car, heading towards my house. Florida-Georgia Line blared through my speakers, making me laugh when I realized I was singing along. It was just another way Max had rubbed off on me. I turned the volume down, the music interfering with my thoughts.
Max had changed my life. He filled some sort of emptiness I didn’t really even realize was there. I had lived feeling alone for so long, I didn’t even realize it. It just became who I was, a part of me. Max changed all that. He filled the vacancy with laughs, smiles, and warmth. My life had been dull and now it was vibrant, bursting with red cups, multi-colored sticky notes, and the most beautiful green eyes I’d ever seen.
My smile faded as I realized the pain I would feel when it wasover. It would, without a doubt, be worse than any pain I’d ever felt before. It wasn’t so much that I had chosen Max, it was that he had chosen me. He endured my mood swings and just kept coming back when I pushed him away. Hell, he didn’t budge when I’d shoved him back. He’d just smirk, his dimple sinking into his cheek, and wait for me to realize he wasn’t leaving.
But he would.
And I couldn’t blame him.
All I could do was enjoy it while it lasted. I’d have to figure out my sunshine later when he took the warmth from my soul when he left. Because if he wouldn’t leave, I’d have to make him once he knew. I couldn’t look in his eyes and see the pity or the resentment that would undoubtedly be there.
