“I mean, there have been people here before.” He laughed. “Max has spent many nights up here back in the day. We camped up here a lot growing up. There have been many beers drank in this very spot.”
“We should bring wine next time.”
“That sounds like a plan.”
The city lights twinkled below, the only sound coming from the wind whistling through the canyons around us. I felt so at peace sitting in this amazing place with this remarkable man. At that moment, I wouldn’t have traded places with anyone else in the world.
“This place is kind of sacred to me.” I felt his shoulders rise and fall. “I’ve never brought a girl up here before. I didn’t want to taint it or something. I don’t know how to explain it.”
“Tell me about your grandpa.” I hesitated as soon as the words left my mouth, hoping I wasn’t pushing for too much too soon.
“I spent a lot of time around here with him growing up. Dad worked a lot, trying to build his empire and give us the best life he could. Mom hated that he worked so much. She thought he should just get a little pudfuck job from my grandfather. But Dad wouldn’t do that. He wanted to do his own thing.”
I frowned. “So that’s why she left, right?”
He nodded. “So with no one around to watch me, Grandpa Ben got stuck with me,” he said, smiling fondly. “We hiked up here, searched for gold. Well, I searched for gold. And snakes. And cool rocks. Grandpa just kind of walked around. I bet I’ve walked every bit of desert out here at one point or another.” He paused. “See that rock ledge over there?” Cane asked, pointing at a rock wall on the left. “Ask Max about that one of these days.” He chuckled.
“What’s that about?” The thought of Cane and Max together in their teenage years made me smile.
“That’s not my story to tell. But it’s a helluva laugh, I promise you that.”
“Sounds interesting.”
“Yeah, more like entertaining.”
“It sounds like you had a nice childhood.” I hoped the smile on his face would remain.
“I did, all in all. What about you? What was your childhood like?”
I relaxed, letting my mind wander to the past. “It was great. Kari was born a few years after me, so I always had someone to play with. Dad worked a lot, but he would take us with him into the office sometimes on the weekends and let us ‘help.’ Mom stayed at home and made dinner, did laundry, all of that stuff. Our house was always decorated for the nearest holiday. That kind of thing.”
“Was she a lot like you?”
I sighed. “I hope I’m like her. She was stronger than me, that’s for sure. She always knew what to do, what to say. I always feel so unsure.”
“Some of that probably comes with age, don’t you think?”
“Maybe.”
We sat quietly, watching the lights twinkle.
“You know I think you’re really fucking strong, right? I’ve never known anyone like you. Every woman in my life, besides my grandmother, has always been weak. Needy. Wanting shit from me or someone else if they had something better to offer. But not you.”
I shrugged. “I can get things for myself. I don’t need a man for that.I don’t need a man at all, actually. I just want someone around to enjoy things with, to laugh with, to look forward to things with.”
I watched him smile to himself as he looked across the city. “I’m glad you opened up and told me things about you.”
He turned to face me, shrugging. “It must be the air out here making me act all dumb.” He scrunched up his face, making me giggle. “I don’t really know why I told you all of that. You’re easy to talk to, and this place brings back many memories. I don’t have anyone to share them with but Max. And he’s a dipshit.”
I pulled my legs up beneath me. “I’m glad you have this place to remind you of your family. I hate that they’re all gone.”
“Yeah, well, my grandma used to call family ‘the tie that binds.’ I never understood that until my dad passed away. It’s okay most of the time. I stay busy with work and working out, things like that. It’s just my normal. But holidays and things are lonely.”
“I’ve never been alone on a holiday, so I can’t even tell you I understand how that feels. But it must be awful.”
“Yeah, it does suck. But I don’t have to buy gifts, so that’s a plus.” He laughed. “I’m always invited to Max’s family’s celebrations, but they’re a huge Southern family, so all touchy-feely and not really my speed. Those are the times I wish I still had my family around. I remember when my dad was alive how that felt. Knowing that someone loved you no matter how much you fucked up. And I fucked up a lot, as you can imagine. But there was a safety net built by blood. I miss that.”
“You can have your own family someday, you know?” I threw that out there, hoping it was something he could hold on to and look forward to.
