And release they did. It was very cathartic to just let go, even if I was on the kitchen floor by myself.
I felt purified of the past with Decker, as well as the past with Cane. Decker had left scars that I knew I’d carry with me forever. But Cane—I chose to believe his intentions were honorable and my pain was simply a by-product of two people trying to force something that wasn’t meant to be.
It didn’t really matter. He walked away, so there was no sense in worrying about it.
I left the house earlier than usual on Thursday morning and stopped by a bagel shop for a coffee and a cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese. The girl working in the shop was sweet, and we had a nice, easy conversation while I picked the raisins out of the bread and enjoyed my coffee. She told me about her love life, and I offered her some advice like I knew something about the topic.
I said goodbye and made my way to my Jeep. I got in the driver’s seat before I noticed a little piece of blue paper stuck beneath the wiper. I reached out the window and grabbed it, pulling it inside.
I’m watching you
The writing on the blue sticky note was jagged, slashed across the paper. It appeared to have been wadded up at some point or, most likely, crammed at the bottom of a book bag of a hungover Arizona State student.
I glanced around the parking lot, but it was empty. Figuring someone got the wrong car, I wadded it into a ball and tossed it into my cup holder.
I got to work early and dug in, catching up due to my lack of enthusiasm from the days before. By two o’clock, I had skipped lunch and had nearly cleared my desk when Alice came in.
“Hey, sweetie. Do you have a minute?”
I looked up. In her hands was a large bouquet of the most beautiful orange tulips I had ever seen.
“Those are gorgeous,” I said in awe, wondering who had sent Alice flowers.
“These were delivered for you.” She peeked around the foliage and smiled smugly.
I was floored, confident I had misheard. “For me? Are you sure?” No one had ever sent me flowers in my entire life.
“Absolutely.” Alice set them down on my desk. “I’m not sure what the dinner and flowers mean, but I hope you’re happy, Jada. If anyone deserves someone to dote on them, it’s you.”
I nodded slowly as she turned and left. Inhaling the scent of the tulips, the smell and beauty instantly lifted my spirits.
I picked up the tall and slender crystal vase, which was bursting with flowers from all angles. Excitedly, I fished through the foliage until I located the card. It was white with silver swirls in a heavier cardstock. Even it was beautiful.
Extracting it from the envelope with a shaky hand, I read it carefully.
I remember someone telling me they liked flowers for anniversaries. I believe today is the anniversary of the first day we met a few weeks ago. But I’m not great at dates and things like that, so if it isn’t, then just pretend it is.
I hope these bring a smile to your beautiful face. You should always smile.
I hope you have a great day, Jada.
Cane
I dropped the note, my hands still trembling.How do I process that?
I took a deep breath and then re-read the card, but it didn’t make any more sense than it did the first time.
He hasn’t called me this entire time and now he sends me flowers?
I buried my face in my hands, confusion taking up residence yet again. I had pushed him away so hard, yet he continued to pursue me. He wore me down, had me willing to break every self-imposed rule I had, but then he walked away. And now, days later when he hadn’t bothered to contact me at all, he sends me flowers?
What the hell?
I sat there a long time, pondering what to do, trying to decide what it all meant.
Should I take the flowers as a white flag? A sign that he gives up chasing me and has resorted to being friends? Or do they mean that he is sorry for walking away?
His note certainly didn’t give me any insight.
