“I know Simon is gone now, but … even before I left, before all of the Simon stuff came to light tome”—I raised my eyebrows, driving home my point—“I was worried.”
“About what?”
“That you were pulling away. Maybe it was because of Simon, since you obviously knew more than I did. Or maybe your new project at work. I don’t know. But then seeing Ashley in your office set fire to insecurity that had been trying to turn into a wildfire on its own.”
“No. That’s crazy talk.”
I forced a swallow. “Crazy or not, that’s what I’m thinking. You asked.” I spun my ring on my finger.
“Yes, I knew about Simon when you did not, and I had a lot going with that. Yes, my new project at work has been a giant pain in the fucking ass, but it will be worth it in the end.” He stroked my cheek with his thumb, his voice softening. “But the Ashley thing is bullshit. Plain and fucking simple.”
I smiled shakily, almost afraid to believe what he was saying.
Like he could read my thoughts, Cane smiled. “Believe it.”
“I want to. I never wanted anything more than I do for this to work, but—”
“But?” He sat upright, the fire back in his eyes. The Cane I remembered was back. “There are no fucking buts, Jada. I’m sick and tired of feeling like my life is over. I haven’t seen the sun shine since you left. I didn’t know what it even looked like until I saw you in that restaurant, and I never want to go a day without it now.” He took a deep breath. “I should have been honest with you from the start. But I wasn’t. And I take responsibility for that. But I’m also taking responsibility for our future, Jada. Our future. Because my future doesn’t exist if you aren’t in it.”
The tears I had been fighting welled up again.
“I may not be perfect, but I am real, Jada. I’m going to fuck up again, probably. But I told you once I would never hurt you on purpose, and I haven’t. And I won’t. Ever.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck, feeling as though I’d been stripped raw. He held me tight against him, crushing our bodies together.
“I haven’t seen the sun shine since you left … Because my future doesn’t exist without you.”
I held on for dear life—for my hopes, my dreams, my fears, and for our future.
“Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you think is perfect doesn’t mean that they don’t love you with all they have. And I love you with everything I am, Jada,” he whispered.
I pulled away from his embrace far too soon, but I couldn’t allow myself to get hauled back into things without really thinking them through on my own terms.
“When are you planning on leaving?” I asked, looking out the window.
He smiled. “As soon as you’re ready to go home with me.”
I shook my head sadly. “Cane, I don’t think I can go now.”
He sat up straight, his eyes wild. “What do you mean you’re not going now?”
My eyes caught a pic of Heather and Brian kissing and laughing at what appeared to be a concert venue. That is how these things should be.
“I’m not going to Arizona,” I said softly.
“Okay. So you want to wait a few days? I understand that.”
His voice was full of hope that I had to shatter.
I turned to look at him, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Cane,” I began, “please don’t make this harder than it has to be.”
“This doesn’t have to be hard at all. You go pack your stuff, and we get on a plane and go home.” He bit his lip as he watched my reaction. His mannerisms betrayed the coolness of his voice.
I had to look away from him before I spoke. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but I had to ensure that whatever I did was right. If this wasn’t going to work out, I wanted to know now while I could restart easily and not be completely wrecked.
“There’s just a lot of stuff that I haven’t had time to process. I don’t want to run back to Arizona and pretend everything’s perfect. Decker lied to me, hid things from me so many times, and I just listened to his apologies, and I—”
“I’m not fucking Decker! You can’t punish me for what he did to you.”
