I hit the bag over and over again as Powerman 5000 blared through my phone. I had to get some of the aggression out of my system so I could settle down.
It had been a long fucking day.
I got nothing done. I couldn’t focus on anything. I went from being insanely pissed off that Simon wasn’t found, to being sadder than I ever imagined that Jada wasn’t around, to angrier than hell that I couldn’t do anything to fix any of it.
I glanced at the clock.
2:19 AM
Jab, cross, hook.
Jab, cross, hook, uppercut.
I had been at it for a couple of hours and felt no better than before. The clarity, the peace I normally found in the gym was out of reach.
I squared up again and started throwing right, left, right when the music cut out and a ringtone took its place.
I tossed off my gloves and grabbed my phone off the dock.
“What’s up?”
“Cane. It’s Nick …”
FORTY-THREE
Jada
I steppedout of the Escalade in front of Heather’s house the next afternoon, following a goodbye dinner with Kari and Max. This was the moment I had been dreading more than anything. I watched them get out of the front seats and join me at the back of the vehicle.
“Are you going to be okay? No, don’t even answer that. I know you’re going to be okay,” Kari said, blinking back the tears forming in her eyes.
“I’m going to be fine.” I sounded much more confident about that than I felt. Just thinking about the two constants in my life—the two people who had been there for me no matter what—leaving me and going back to Arizona destroyed me.
But I couldn’t go back yet … if I could at all.
I just wasn’t sure which way was up. Or if up was even a viable option.
“Come here,” Max said, pulling me into a tight embrace. “If you need anything, anything at all, you call me. I’ll figure it out.” He pulledme in tighter. “Cane is a handful. Just remember that everything he does is because he loves you, all right?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I said, sniffling.
His shoulders rose and dropped, a smirk on his face.
“Thank you for everything.” I pulled back from him and smiled. “Take care of my sister, okay?”
“Don’t worry about that.”
I turned to Kari, hugging my sister goodbye. Neither of us could find the words to express our feelings, but we both knew the other understood. “So call me when you make it home. Your flight leaves first thing in the morning, right?” I asked, wiping my face dry with the back of my hands.
“Yeah, at six or so, I think,” Kari said, looking at Max for confirmation; he shook his head.
“Okay. Well, let’s not delay the inevitable and make this hurt more than it’s going to,” I said, walking backward toward the house. “I’ll see you guys soon.”
Max drove, and Kari blew kisses out of the window as they pulled out onto the street. Their Escalade pulled farther and farther away, and a piece of my heart went with them.
I had never felt so alone in every way.
Taking a deep breath and summoning all the strength I could muster, I put on my bravest face and marched back inside.
