“Thank you,” Leslie whispered, hugging Vivian again.
“No,” Vivian muttered. “Thank you.”
When Leslie and her friend were gone, the bookstore manager gave them the all clear to leave.
Yenni stood, slinging her bag over her shoulder. “Well, that’s how you end a signing.” She squeezed Vivian’s shoulder once, the only gentle thing Bryn had seen her do, and headed for the door.
“You okay?” Bryn asked, risking a hand on Vivian’s back. Given the emotional display, she didn’t think anyone would question a lingering touch. Plus, the staff was too busy setting the store back to normal to pay attention to them.
Vivian turned to her, and there was something raw in her expression. Something that made Bryn’s chest tighten.
“I never believed,” Vivian said quietly, “that any of it mattered.”
Bryn wanted to tell her that of course it mattered. That if she ever opened the links she’d sent her, she’d see that she’d impacted hundreds of lives, if not thousands. That she’d been a role model and a beacon. She’d been hope and pride personified.
But Vivian was looking at her like she’d just discovered something fundamental about the world, and Bryn couldn’t find words big enough for what she was feeling.
So she just stood there, hand still on Vivian’s back, and understood with sudden, breathtaking clarity what it meant to witness someone becoming who they were always supposed to be. Understood what it meant to want to be there for every moment after this one.
And the tingle in her chest turned into an undeniable shockwave.
ChapterThirty-Six
Bryn hadn’t sether free, Vivian realized. She’d been wrong about that. Bryn had given her a mirror and showed her that the keys to her cell had always been in her hands. She made her see that at some point, she’d gone from safety to seclusion to imprisonment. That she’d shrunk her life down to a monotonous malaise that she’d grown accustomed to. A misery she’d mislabeled as contentment.
“Thank you,” Vivian said when Bryn rolled up her driveway and stopped in her usual spot near the front door.
Her usual spot.
There was something about that that Vivian wanted to sit in. A comfort she wanted to drape around herself and never remove.
“You know I don’t mind driving?—”
“I mean about encouraging me to do this thing tonight.” Vivian didn’t make any moves to get out of the car. She didn’t want to lose her nerve. “I don’t have the words for this.” She reached over, taking Bryn’s hand in hers. “And I may never have them.”
She hoped she’d never stop loving the way Bryn’s skin felt against hers. The way Bryn’s scent made her heart race and her proximity made her restless soul settle. How could she ever put that into words? All she could ever do was hope to show Bryn what she meant to her.
“Do you want to come inside?” There was a tremble in Vivian’s voice that she didn’t try to stop. Emotions in her eyes she didn’t hold back. “To stay the night?”
“Vivian,” Bryn said quietly, holding Vivian’s hand with both of hers. “I don’t want to rush you?—”
“If you don’t want?—”
“Oh, Vivian.” Bryn caught her before she could turn away, the lightest touch on her chin, and brought her gaze back to her. “I very muchwant, but tonight was a lot. I don’t want you to feel like we’re rushing anything.”
Vivian chuckled. In the nearly five months since their orchid shop date, they’d done everything but rush. But she understood Bryn now. Understood that her concern was only for Vivian in a way that held no selfishness. No ego.
Vivian reached over, brushing away the soft red hair framing Bryn’s face. An excuse to feel her skin. To touch her.
“I believe you,” Vivian said, sure she meant something else. “I want you,” she added, even if she couldn’t quite manage the rest. Couldn’t confess that she wanted Bryn in every single way she was lucky to have her. But what she couldn’t say with her words, she’d proclaim with her actions.
Bryn’s eyes glistened withyes, but she didn’t move. Not first. She waited to follow Vivian’s lead, like she’d wait forever if that’s what it took.
They walked up the driveway together, and Vivian didn’t shield the keypad from view when she entered the long, complicated code. When the electronic lock to the front door slid open, Vivian held it open for Bryn.
Lit only by the outdoor lights, Vivian’s house was dark. She didn’t bother flipping any switches. The ambient glow was enough to see by, even if showing Bryn her thriving violets in the foyer, vibrant green but not yet flowering, would have to wait for morning.
Morning.
