Middle school?Vivian couldn’t imagine having the fortitude to come out so young. Even though she’d always known who she was, she’d taken a long time to say it publicly.
“That’s nice,” Vivian said, surprised to find that she meant it.
By the time they sat down to eat an impressively prepared meal that Vivian had not hated helping to make, she’d lost track of how much wine she’d had. Lost track and too tired to care. So tired of tracking and watching and weighing. She poured the rest of the bottle between two glasses and started eating the unreasonably delicious food.
“Are you close with your parents?”
“Your Wiki didn’t tell you that?” Vivian teased.
“I didn’t really research?—”
Vivian banished the panic on Bryn’s face with a smirk. “My dad was never in the picture. My mother would never admit it, but I don’t think she really knew him. She never had details about how exactly he diedin the war.” Vivian’s blood chilled at the thought of her mother. “She’d go into hysterics and flee the tragic pain of her unspeakable loss when pressed.” She rolled her eyes and took another bite of grilled squash.
“I’m sorry,” Bryn replied cautiously, like her response was trapped between question and sentiment.
“Yeah, well. I’m sure you’ve already read about how she misspent every penny I ever earned and I only discovered it when I turned eighteen and my manager was forced to disclose my own life to me.” She didn’t mean to sound so bitter. Didn’t want the truth to still awaken the festering pain of betrayal.
“What? Vivian?—”
“You don’t have to act surprised. I’m used to everyone knowing every shameful?—”
“I’m not acting. I really didn’t know,” she swore, like she desperately needed Vivian to believe her. “I would never betray?—”
“There’s nothing to betray.” Vivian wished she sounded more detached than defensive. “It’s all out there for the world to see. I was one of the country’s highest paid child actors and I was destitute by the time I was twenty-one.”
Bryn looked around, bright eyes wide and curious. “How did you rebuild it all?”
Vivian studied Bryn’s face. Scoured her expression for the slightest hint of deception. When she couldn’t spot any, she leaned back, glass in hand. “You really don’t know?”
“How you lost everything and ended up back on top? No,” she promised.
Vivian’s chuckle tasted bitter after such a lovely meal. Nothing about her life felt like she wason top. That evoked a feeling of completeness when all Vivian had was security and control and the overwhelming fear of losing it all again.
“Well.” Vivian drained her glass. “I was in my early twenties and I couldn’t get any work. And I meanany. The best I had in two years was a call back for a soap playing an escort with no lines.” She forced her body not to remember the feeling of desperation. “I couldn’t get any non-acting work either. Everywhere I went, all anyone saw was Cyndi. Not Vivian.” She swallowed. “So, whenSports Illustratedcalled…”
“You answered?”
“Not exactly.” Vivian grinned, remembering the first time she’d ever wrestled control over her own life from so many greedy hands. “I calledPlayboy.” She paused, considering. “Do people your age know?—”
“I know what the hellPlayboyis, Vivian. I’m almost thirty.”
“So sensitive.” Vivian laughed. A real, truly amused chuckle. “One day you’re going to miss people treating you like you’re too young. Trust me.”
“Well that day is not today,” Bryn said with a surprising amount of steel in her tone. Vivian let it go without comment. “Did you pose forPlayboythen?”
Vivian’s body was buzzing. She was back in tense negotiations when her manager was sweating bullets and warning her that she was pushing too hard. That she was going to end up with nothing. But if Vivian had learned one thing, it was that people’s obsession with her body was boundless. And for once, the greedy, insatiable, demanding hands were going to be hers.
“No,” Vivian replied, drawing out the mystery. Keeping Bryn leaning forward like she regretted not looking this up for herself. But she was captive now, and Vivian wanted to reel her in slowly. “Not untilHustlercalled.”
If Bryn’s eyes widened any further, they were going to tumble right out of their sockets.
“Recognize that one too, huh?” Vivian took her time swirling the wine in her glass before sipping. Bryn’s attention was turning addictive and she told herself that she’d only indulge for another minute.
“You’re killing me, Vivian!” Bryn gripped the table. “Are you going to tell me?—”
“That I pitted them against each other until I became a millionaire with the flick of the pen?” She laughed, chest warm and body weightless.
“No,” Bryn replied in joyous disbelief. “Holy shit, that’s so bad ass!”
