“Yeah?”
He swallows. Hard. His hands fist in my shirt as though he’s afraid I might disappear if he lets go.
“I love you, too.”
The words hit me just as hard as mine must’ve hit him.
I suck in a breath. My chest aches—full, heavy, and relieved all at once. I rest my forehead against his, eyes closing as the truth of it settles in.
“Okay,” I murmur back, voice rough. “Okay.”
He steps back releasing me. “I’ll be fast.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
The parking lot is neat,almost too pristine. Not a single weed between the cracks, the flowerbeds blooming in bursts of color that feel deliberately cheerful—as though they’re trying to distract you from what waits inside. Itlookswelcoming. Peaceful, even. But there’s a stillness in the air, a quiet that doesn’t settle. The kind of silence that makes you whisper, even outside.
Luke’s beside me in the passenger seat, fingers tapping against his thigh, eyes scanning the brick building. He hasn’t said much since we pulled off the highway, but I haven’t either.
Because my stomach has been in knots since I suggested he come with me. And now, as I shift into park, I’m pretty sure I’m seconds away from a full-blown anxiety attack.
I grip the steering wheel, knuckles going white.
“Hey,” Luke whispers. “If you changed your mind…I can stay in the car.”
“No, I want you here.”
He exhales. “Okay, we don’t have to go in yet.”
I nod once, jaw so tight it feels as if I could break my teeth. “Yeah. We do. Sitting out here isn’t going to make this easier.”
But my hand doesn’t reach for the door. Because the truth is, I’m scared. Not of seeing Xavier. That part still hurts, but it’s familiar, expected even. It’s Luke I’m afraid of.
Afraid he’ll see Xavier—what’s left of him—and it’ll change something. Not just between us, but in him. That he’ll finally understand why control matters so much to me. Why I’ve tried to keep people at arm’s length and don’t let anyone in. Except him.
Because once he sees the boy who used to love me, the one I should’ve protected, and failed?—
He might realize I’m not worth the risk.
And it’s not like Xavier will even understand what any of it means. Most days, he doesn’t know who I am. He doesn’t remember that we used to be so in love we were stupid, or that I coached him, or how we used to sneak around and kiss like the world would never catch us. Similar to what I’m doing now with Luke. The similarities are hard to shake.
Xavier’s body is here. His smile sometimes shows up, sure. But he’s gone. And I can’t explain that to Luke without sounding like I might still be hung up on a shell of a man.
I’m not.
But I am still haunted by the wreckage I caused.
Luke shifts beside me, clearly growing uncomfortable with my silence. “Silas?”
I exhale roughly through my nose, force my hand off the wheel, shutting off theengine. “Sorry.”
“You don’t have to be,” he says. “I’ll be right here next to you when you’re ready.”
And damn it, that…that is what almost undoes me. He doesn’t even know what he’s walking into.
I glance over, and he’s already unbuckling, already has his hand on the door handle, ready to open the door the second I am. As if it’s that easy.
Gathering my courage, I push my door open and step out. He follows, but my steps slow the closer we get to the entrance. The automatic doors whoosh open with a quiet hiss that sounds too much like a sigh. As though even the building feels what’s coming.
