I finally look at him then. Really look.
There’s guilt in his eyes. And something else too—fear, as though he’s bracing for me to turn away from him and run away again.
My chest aches. Not with jealousy. Not really. More with understanding. And that scares the shit out of me.
“I knew,” I say quietly. “I mean… I didn’t knowtoday, but I knew he was still alive, in the picture, a part of you.”
Silas nods once. “He always will be.”
The words land gently. Honestly. And still, they sting.
I wipe my face again, slower this time. Less angry. “You could’ve just said that. Instead of acting like I was some distraction you needed a break from.”
“I wasn’t pushing you away,” he says quickly. “I was trying not to fall apart in front of you.”
I huff a weak laugh. “Too late. I already did that for both of us.”
His mouth twitches, but it doesn’t quite make it to a smile.
“I’m sorry,” he says. And this time, it sounds like he meansallof it.
I nod. Once. Then again.
“I get it,” I say. “I don’t love it. But… I get it.”
TWENTY-SIX
SILAS
The words stickin my throat as I stare down at his blotched and tear-streaked face, wanting—needing—to pull him into my arms and fix every hurt I just caused.
I did this. I made him look like that.
And I can’t stand it.
“Come with me,” I say impulsively.
His breath catches. He blinks, lashes still wet. “What?”
I swallow. The air between us feels thin, fragile. “To see Xavier. I want you there.”
He stares at me like I’ve grown a second head.
“You don’t have to talk,” I say quickly,. “You don’t have to do anything. I just… I don’t want to do it alone. Not today.”
“You said—” He cuts off, brows pulling together. “You said he wasn’t someone I needed to worry about.”
I wince. “That was a shitty way to say I didn’t know how to explain it. He’s important to me.Wasimportant. But you are too. You are right now.”
He goes quiet. His gaze drops to the ground like he’ssorting through a dozen different responses, and none of them feel safe.
I take a step closer, careful not to touch him. Not yet.
“I should’ve said something before,” I murmur. “About Xavier. About why I’ve been distant. I didn’t want you thinking I was still in love with a ghost.”
Luke’s eyes flick back to mine. “Aren’t you?”
I exhale slowly. “I don’t know. Not in the way I was. Not in a way that keeps me from wanting more with you.”
