I try to focus on schoolwork, but my mind keeps drifting to my conversation with Lauren. I’ve worked hard in therapy to work through the pain of family rejection, but the hurt never fully goes away. Maybe after Florida, I should finally push past the fear and try to see my brothers.
Chapter 4
Jay
Ray and I arrived in Fort Lauderdale late last night. With the time difference between the West and East Coast, it seemed like a good idea to arrive a day early. The hotel we’re staying in is more upscale than our usual accommodations, and the room rate gave me sticker shock.
Leading up to the trip, Ray kept talking nonstop about how this was our ticket to the next level. He’s focused on dollar signs, but I haven’t shared his enthusiasm, even though he thinks I should. It’s been a constant argument, spilling into the car ride to the airport. We barely spoke on the plane, and we crashed as soon as we got to the hotel, but the sniping continues this morning.
Stepping out of the bathroom after a shower, I’m met with a scowl. “Are you going to pout the whole fucking time we’re here?” he asks for the tenth time.
I breathe deeply before responding. “You know I’m nervous about this. I didn’t know I was going to be in a full-blown orgy with a bunch of guys I’ve never met, and you won’t even be in the room.”
Ray sprung this on me when we got here. Mac told him they only had room for one of us in the first session and needed a bottom. Without even asking me, he said I’d do it. I’ve neverbeen in an orgy before. To say I have some anxiety about it is an understatement.
“You’ll be fine,” he snaps. “All you have to do is lie there.”
I answer with a shrug of my shoulders and get dressed. We don’t have to be anywhere until this afternoon, so to kill some time, we walk down to the beach before stopping at a nearby market to stock up on essentials for the room. We don’t need to eat out for every meal.
As we’re heading to the hotel, Ray gets a text from Mac. One of the guys’ flights was delayed, and now they might need him after all. The news visibly improves his mood, and now he’s buzzing with excitement.
Back in our room, we have just enough time to change into swimsuits before we need to head downstairs.
At the far end of the pool area, a group of guys is hanging out on lounge chairs, laughing and playfully teasing each other. There’s a spread of light snacks and drinks set up on a small table next to them.
As we approach the group, a guy in his mid-twenties, lean and muscular, with tattoos covering his arms and chest, stands up to meet us.
“Hey, I’m Mac,” he introduces himself. “And this is my husband, Leon,” he adds, pointing to a ruggedly handsome and tremendously fit man, who towers over him by several inches and is at least twenty years older.
Mac and Leon introduce us to the rest of the guys, and we settle into some lounge chairs to soak up the sun. Everyone there is undeniably attractive and clearly in great shape. I stay fit, and I’m decent-looking, but these guys are intimidating. They quicklyput me at ease, though, with their easy banter, making it simple to relax. Most of them have known each other for years, except for Riley, another new face in the group.
After an hour of swimming and getting to know everyone, I’m sitting with Ray and Mac when Mac gestures to his phone.
“Hey, the guy who was delayed is going to make it,” he says. “Sorry, Ray, we won’t need you for this first session after all.”
A grimace flashes across Ray’s face before he masks it. “Oh, it’s fine, no big deal,” he replies, his tone tight.
He gets up, pulls me aside, and mutters, “I’m heading to the room for a nap. When you come up, don’t wake me if I’m asleep.”
That’s fine by me. Honestly, having Ray gone is easing my nerves. I’m chatting with Riley about our shared experience of being new to full-group filming and sitting on lounge chairs at the edge of the group when Leon joins us.
“Ready for this afternoon?” he asks.
Riley grins. “Absolutely. These guys are hot!”
Leon chuckles. “Mac attracts the best. I hear this is your first group experience, so feel free to ask questions. Communication is key. If anything feels off or painful, you can take a break and play cameraman for a while.”
“How are you feeling about it?” he asks me. “Sorry, we had to bump Ray. Aiden Fox is a big draw.”
I’ve never heard of him, but I couldn’t tell you the name of a single porn star. When I watch porn, I typically search for whatever suits my mood, scrolling through videos until I find something that excites me. It doesn’t matter who’s in the video as long as it turns me on.
I shrug. “I’m good. A bit relieved, actually, that Ray isn’t here. He can get jealous, and I wasn’t sure how he’d react.”
Leon raises an eyebrow. “I didn’t expect that. Most couples prefer to stay together in these situations. That’s not the case for you?”
“Not really,” I admit, watching his reaction.
Noticing that this conversation is turning personal, Riley excuses himself and heads toward the food table. Leon leans back, looking serious.
