He takes a few deep, steadying breaths. “I want this with you, Aiden,” he says, desperation clinging to every word. “But…there are some things I don’t know if I can get past.”
“Like what?” I ask, genuinely confused.
What could there possibly be that we can’t work through?
He lets out a deep sigh. “I can’t go back to having my life on display,” he says softly. “I know your OnlyFans is an enormous source of income, and I respect that, but I can’t live like that again. And I don’t know if I can handle the fact that you’re with other people.”
And now I feel like shit. I thought I was respecting his wishes not to say anything, but I should’ve told him sooner. God, why didn’t I tell him?
“Baby,” I say, reaching for his hand. “I shut down my OnlyFans and all my social media accounts months ago. Even before that, I was only posting my old content. I haven’t had sex with anyone else since Florida. Not once. I don’t want anyone else.”
His mouth falls slightly open. The look on his face is a mixture of shock and disbelief. He just stares at me. Barely blinking. Shit, did I break him?
“Baby?” I whisper. “Please, say something.”
He finally finds his voice, blinking hard. “Wait, let me get this straight: you aren’t on any social media anymore? Not even OnlyFans? And you haven’t had sex withanyonesince Florida?”
“Yes. That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
He stares at me as if I’ve grown a second head. “Aiden… Florida wasmonthsago! How the hell have you gone that long without sex? And… why?”
I laugh, half-amused. “I won’t lie, it’s been a rough time for my dick. But after being with you, I didn’t want anyone else. You’re it for me. You’re all I want.” I squeeze his hand, letting the truth settle between us. “I love you, Jay.”
He launches himself at me, and suddenly we’re kissing like a couple of horny teenagers. We’re both hungry, reckless, and desperate to make up for lost time.
I’m so hard I’m practically bursting through the seam of my pants, but as much as I want this, I don’t want our first time back together to be in a sweaty, cramped moving van that smells of fast food and cat litter.
I’ve gottenverygood at ignoring erections, and I call on all that hard-earned discipline to slow us down. I gently pull back, resting my forehead against his.
“Baby,” I breathlessly whisper, “we need to stop before we can’t stop.”
He nods, his lips still parted, pupils blown wide. “I think that’s a good idea.”
I press a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth, trying to cool the fire burning under my skin.
“Let’s get out and stretch our legs.”
The cats have been loudly protesting their captivity for a while now, but we’ve been too wrapped up in each other to notice. I finally unzip their carrier, letting them roam the van’s cab and use the litter box while we step out.
We head to the restroom first. Standing side by side at the urinals with our dicks out is a whole new level of torture. I stare straight ahead, willing myself not to glance over and make this already charged situation worse.
When we step back outside, I reach for Jay’s hand, and this time, I don’t let go. We still have a lot to talk about and figure out. But the truth is out there, and I’m all in.
We take a slow walk around the rest stop, stretching our legs and breathing in the fresh air. As we reach the van, I pull him into a full-body hug. He immediately sinks into me, his arms wrapping tightly around my waist.
When we break apart, I cup his face for a second, brushing my thumb over his cheek.
“Let’s find a place to stop for the night in the next town,” I say, my voice low, dripping with desire.
It’s hours earlier than we planned, but I need him.Allof him.
Jay smiles, eyes shining, and nods. “I think that’s a great idea.”
Chapter 20
Jay
I’m a mess, my mind racing in a dozen different directions after everything Aiden just told me. The kissing made my head spin, leaving me dizzy. He not only wants me, but he’s in love with me? And how has he not had sex since Florida? That blows my mind.
