Lauren: OMG. I want details!
Aiden: I’ll call you when I’m back in NYC.
I hit send just as Jay appears, walking toward me with an easy smile that sends me straight back to being seventeen. He’s wearinga fitted blue polo that makes his eyes pop even brighter than I remember, paired with khaki shorts that show off his lean legs.
It’s surreal. He’s older and more defined, but so much about him remains the same. That same stubborn cowlick at the back of his head that he used to curse at in front of the bathroom mirror. That same smile that seems to light up the space around him. For a second, I forget to breathe.
We make small talk on the short walk to the restaurant, sticking to safe topics like Florida’s beaches and the beautiful weather.
The restaurant buzzes with lunchtime chatter, and the air smells of grilled onions and frying oil. We order our usual favorites: combo plates of tacos and burritos smothered in green chili, iced teas, and chips and salsa to start.
Jay leans forward, his fingers tracing the condensation on his drink. “I honestly don’t even know where to start. There are a lot of years to cover.”
“Maybe we should start with the present, then work our way backward,” I suggest. “Jumping straight to the last time we saw each other might be a little too much.”
He nods, relief flickering across his face. “I completely agree. Want me to start?”
“Yes. I want to know everything.”
He launches in, telling me about his career as a software engineer, his degrees, and how he moved up in his company. I knew he’d be good with computers. Hearing the pride in his voice makes me realize just how much he’s built for himself.
When I ask about his family, the mood shifts and his shoulders tense.
“Well, I guess we’re jumping into the tough stuff right away,” he says, his voice low, his fingers absently twisting the edge of his napkin. “My parents divorced when I was a freshman in college.”
The words hit hard. I didn’t see that coming.
“When everything went down at the end of junior year,” he continues, “Heather had my back completely. She wouldn’t let them shove me back into the closet. But my mom struggled. Our dads pushed hard to pull us apart, and she gave in. Losing your mom as a friend gutted her. She was caught in the middle, trying to please everyone and tearing herself apart in the process.”
My jaw clenches, heat rising in my face. “What did your dad do?” My voice is sharper than I mean it to be, but the anger is right there, bubbling to the surface.
Jay sighs, his eyes flicking downward as if he’s bracing himself. “He took away my phone, wiped my social media, and restricted my internet access. Eventually, my mom convinced him to get me a new phone with a new number, but I didn’t have anyone’s contact information from Rochester. I was completely cut off.” He pauses, swallowing hard. “My dad wanted me in therapy,” he lifts his fingers to mimic quotation marks, “to control my impulses.”
I nod, the weight of those familiar words hitting me square in the chest.
“He blamed me for corrupting you, the same thing your dad accused me of. My mom disagreed, but the guilt consumed her. They fought about me constantly. By the time I started college, they couldn’t even be in the same room without it turning into a screaming match.”
He leans back, his eyes distant, as if he’s replaying it all over again. “My dad finally walked out. He filed for divorce and took a newjob in California. The last I heard, he had remarried and started a new family. I haven’t spoken to him in years.”
“Holy shit, Jay. I always thought your parents had the strongest marriage.”
“Yeah, me too. Sometimes I still blame myself for it.”
“That’s bullshit. Your dad’s choices weren’t your fault. He was wrong. End of story.”
Jay gives a slight nod, but I can tell it’s not that simple for him. The way his eyes drop, the way his jaw clenches, he’s still carrying all of it.
I shift gears, not wanting to push him into a corner. “How’s your relationship with your mom?”
“It’s great, actually,” he says, and for the first time since we started down this road, there’s a genuine light in his eyes. “She accepts me and loves me for who I am, with no conditions or hesitation. She’s changed a lot since we left Rochester.”
A pang of envy twists through me. “I wish I could say the same about my parents,” I admit. My voice feels heavier than I want it to. “We’ll get to that later. How were you after you moved to Portland? I can’t imagine what it was like after being cut off from everyone you knew back home.”
Jay exhales slowly. “My senior year was brutal. I went to a big public high school with thousands of kids, and no one knew me. I made a couple of friends, but mostly kept my head down and focused on just getting through.
“I missed you so much; it was like a constant ache in my chest. Every movie I watched, every dumb joke I heard, I wanted to tell you about them. It was like living with a phantom limb. But I hadHeather and my mom, and they saw what I was going through. They didn’t replace what I lost, but they carried me through it.”
Tears prick at the corners of my eyes before I can stop them, not bothering to wipe them away. “I know exactly how you felt. I missed you so much in those first weeks; I thought I was going to lose my mind.”
