“I think I can handle it. I’m a professional. Can you?” He winks and flashes a wicked smile.
“I guess we’ll find out,” I say, the heaviness of what’s about to happen in an hour making my insides feel like lead.
“Where’s your boyfriend?” he asks as we walk side by side towards the lobby.
“Oh, they didn’t need him for this session since you made it, so he went upstairs to take a nap. You’ll probably meet him later.” The thought makes my stomach twist.
I told Ray about Aiden when we talked about past relationships during our early dating days. He’s going to lose his shit when he finds out Aiden is the one who took his spot.
Reaching the lobby, we arrive at a point where we need to go our separate ways, but we linger for a moment, just staring at eachother. How am I going to get through this without literally coming apart?
Aiden breaks the tension. “See you upstairs. I need to check in and shower off the travel smell.”
“I guess I’ll see you up there,” my voice trembling like a teenager asking a date to prom.
While he heads toward the front desk, I step into the waiting elevator, my heart hammering in my chest. Seeing him again has reopened feelings I’ve buried for years, and now they’re surging back to life. The thought of being in that room with him is both electrifying and terrifying. A full-blown mind fuck.
I swipe my keycard at room 515 and slip inside a dark room.
“Hey, Ray, are you asleep?” I whisper, praying for silence.
Only soft snoring answers back. Hopefully, he’ll stay asleep, and I won’t have to argue with him again before heading out.
I’ve been staying hydrated and eating light, wanting to avoid any awkward situations with guys I barely know. In the bathroom, I pull out my douche kit, butt plug, and a bottle of edible lube from my toiletry bag, going through my standard routine to prevent any mishaps. After two thorough douches, I lubricate the plug and gently insert it, feeling the slow stretch pulse through my body.
Half-distracted, I pull up OnlyFans and search for Aiden Fox. He has both free and subscription pages, so I subscribe to the free one to look without Ray knowing. He’d question the credit card charge in a heartbeat.
The first photo on his feed stops me cold. Aiden is shirtless, leaning back with his arm tucked behind his head, resting on a white pillow. A gold chain lies amidst his dark chest hair, contrasting with his tanned, mouthwatering skin. His intense eyes lock onto mine through the screen, and the crooked smile he wears is the same one that used to undo me. I can’t look away.
We’d been inseparable once. From the moment we met halfway through kindergarten, we were best friends. Our dads were friendly, but it was our moms who cemented our closeness. They were best friends too, working side by side at the small Christian school we went to, and because of them, Aiden and I were rarely apart. At school, church, camping trips, and even on some holidays, we did everything together.
Life in our conservative, fundamentalist families left little room to question the world. Aiden’s father dictated what we were to believe from the pulpit. By the time we were in middle school, Pastor Amato had stepped into politics, spearheading a campaign against same-sex marriage in New York. I can still picture the day marriage equality passed: the celebration on the news was in sharp contrast to the storm brewing on his face. I’d never seen him so angry.
At twelve years old, I had my first inkling that I might be gay. Aragorn inTheLord of the Rings, with his ruggedly handsome features, did something to my insides I couldn’t explain. For Aiden, it was Brand, the older brother fromThe Goonies.
Even though we were best friends, we kept silent, afraid to speak the truth. Fear kept us locked up tight. It took years before we finally dared to admit it to each other, and even then, it was a closely guarded secret, shared only between us.
Through it all, I couldn’t control how I felt about him. He was my best friend, but he was also the boy who made me wonder, who filled my mind with possibilities. When I finally found out he was gay too, everything shifted. What had always seemed unthinkable suddenly became possible, and the safe little world we had known no longer felt so inescapable.
On the night of Homecoming, during our junior year, I planned to tell Aiden how I felt. A group of us, dressed in rented tuxedos, rolled up to the dance in a limousine. We paired off with girls from our class to keep up appearances, but during the upbeat songs, we danced together as a group, sneaking glances at each other when no one was looking.
When we finally found a moment alone, I tugged him down the hall and out to the football field. The remnants of the Homecoming floats still littered the track; the lights were off, and no one else was around; it was just the two of us.
Sitting at the far end of the bleachers, I turned to him. “You know how we always say we should be totally honest with each other?” My stomach fluttered with nerves.
“Of course. You can tell me anything,” he said without hesitation.
“Okay, here it is: I have feelings for you.” My heart was beating out of my chest. “Not just friend feelings, like real ones—romantic ones.” My voice trembled, the air thick with silence between us. Just because we were both gay didn’t mean he wanted me back.
He didn’t respond right away. He just grinned, glancing around to make sure we were alone before he finally put me out of my misery.
“It’s about time,” he whispered as he leaned in to brush his lips against mine.
Fireworks exploded through my chest. My hands found his face and pulled him closer, as if my body had known all along what to do. It didn’t last nearly long enough.
Aiden pulled back first and smiled at me. “I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.”
I entwined our fingers and stroked the back of his hand. “Then why didn’t you?”
